My Life

New site

2008-07-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

So I just bought my own domain name. I have been wanting to do this for a long time, and it's finally here. You can find me at jacobrcampbell.com. I finally decided to do this for a couple of reasons. Firstly I have several places that I'm at on the web, and I want to be able to utilize other coding techniques (i.e. PHP). I have been able to do this though my school website (EWU Student Webs)... but in general it doesn't seem like a good solution. Secondly I have earned my first $100 check and on my way to my second using Google Adsense on my homepage Jacobshouse. Thirdly, I have just wanted to do it for a long time. With this, I have decided to migrate to Wordpress for my blog. I know that Blogger allows for it to be utilized on different domains. In reading up, I think that I will be most satisfied with Wordpress. My new blog will be at http://blog.jacobrcampbell.com. Come by and check me out. My first major installment should be my trip to Europe... (please note that it might take me a little bit to get the site up to date and how I want it. I think I will be have a lot of coding to do in the next little while. I look forward to hearing for you.

Book Reviewing Email

2008-07-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

I got an email today that was interesting, asking me if I would like to receive a complementary book and post something on my website. This publisher had obviously found my website and my article that I posted regarding genograms. They said that I could order copies in bulk for my staff at Jacobshouse if I desired, I guess I wish I had staff. I told them that they could send me the book and I would look it over and might upload something onto my website about it. The book they are wanting me to review is Genograms: Assessment and Intervention, Third Edition. I guess I'm not getting paid yet to read though books, but sometime hopefully.

Red Moon Rising: How 24-7 Prayer is Awakening a Generation

2008-07-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

This book was a phenomenal read, with lots of impactful stories about what God is doing in places around the world. It is all about the 24-7 prayer movement that is going on around the world right now. This is such an amazing concept, to think about places being open 24-7 with people coming in to pray at all hours of the day. There was a group that had a 24-7 prayer session at my school, but I wasn’t able to attend. One of the things that it made me most wan t to do is be able to visit some of the places while I’m in Europe this summer.

Which Republicans are Running for President Again?

2008-04-25T15:24:00.000-07:00

I find it interesting that all of the news coverage has been predominantly about the race between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. I have not officially decided as of yet which side I will support. I have been growing more and more to be left of center on the political spectrum. I still have some right sided tendencies. I just think that a vital part of this nations political system is showing information about both parties.

Plane Tickets

2008-04-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

It has finally happened. We just bought plane tickets for Europe. We are flying into Berlin Germany on August 19. Then we are planning on flying out of London on September 23. We get back at 7:30 in Seattle, I start classes the next morning). It should be a pretty crazy trip. The folling are the countries we are planning to go to;
* Germany
* Austria
* Italy
* France
* England
* Ireland

It's going to be an amazing trip I think. I really cant wait.

Road Rage

2008-01-11T18:22:00.000-08:00

If you know me very well, you probably see me as a very laid back doesn't get angry very easy kind of person. This is generally true, although I suffered from some road rage earlier today. My anger was all focused on the snow though, and not really on any other drivers. I was heading to a meeting a the Juvenile, a place that rarely has parking close to the building. I was happy with myself, I was actually getting there early enough to find parking and make it to my meeting before it actually started. Driving down Broadway, I saw a spot on the other side of the road. When I tried flipping a U-y, my car got stuck in the snow. I proceeded to floor the engine in both first and reverse for the next 10 or so minutes. I was getting no where, except closer to the sidewalk and looming pole. During that whole time my spot stayed open, taunting me to get out of my rut. When I was finally able to break free, a car pulls up and goes for my spot. I was late, stuck in the snow for way too long, my spot was stolen and I had to find a new space. It made for an interesting morning to say the least.

Bad Stewarding

2008-01-07T16:57:00.000-08:00

So, I like to think that I am generally a good steward of my stuff. I found out that this is not always the case. Since before I drove 144 miles to go home, my car started making a ticking kind of sound. I did not know what it was. I drove around Tri-Cities for a couple of weeks, and all the way back to Spokane with this sound going. It wasn't until four or five days later, driving home from a friends house that I finally figured out what the problem might be. My check gage light (normally only for when I'm out of gas) kept flickering on and off, and the oil indicator needle was going crazy. I've known that I'm way past due on changing my oil, but that's generally how it is, but I had no idea that I was almost out of oil. Running out of oil, if you don't know, is a very bad issue for a car. When I checked my oil dipstick at the nearest gas station, I realized that I was very low. It made me late for church, but at least my car made it there.

I've realized that maybe I need to work a little bit harder at being a good steward of the stuff that God has blessed me with.

Let it rain when there’s snow on the ground

2007-12-17T03:33:00.000-08:00

Let it rain when
There’s snow on the ground
Let its confusion
Release my soul

Although my heart has been cold
Let it rain when there’s snow on the ground

Although I’ve been bit by frost,
Let it rain when there’s snow on the ground

Let it rain when
There’s snow on the ground
Let its confusion
Release my soul

Although the footsteps of my past, are clearly defined
Let it rain when there’s snow on the ground

Although I’ve think it’s so bright,
I haven’t been blinded yet by the light
Let it rain when there’s snow on the ground

Let it rain when
There’s snow on the ground
Let its confusion
release my soul

Slightly crazy

2007-11-06T14:12:00.000-08:00

So I might be slightly crazy. For once I am glad that I missed the bus. Normally I take the bus back and forth to class. I forgot that I had driven today, and had I missed the bus... then I would have likely ridden it all the way to my house until I realized that it was still in Cheney. It wasn't until I sat down and was waiting for the next bus that I was like "I drove this morning... opps" On that note here is a video from Criss Cross (taking it back to the old school) "I missed the bus"

Is love (attraction) a panic attack?

2007-10-08T00:40:00.000-07:00

I’m currently taking a clinical assessments class for social work. I have been told that many of us can identify with various diagnoses from the DSM IV TR (the most current edition of the publication put out by the American Psychiatric Association that classifies and defines different psychiatric diagnoses and lists the criteria for them). This weeks study is in the anxiety disorders, the most common diagnosis.

I was struck by a thought as I was reading through the criteria for a panic attack. Panic attacks are not code able by themselves (meaning that they are the basis for other classifications). Many of the criteria put forth coincides with what I’d imagine to be common for people “in love” (by this I don’t mean love as the verb, but an adjective) or being attracted to somebody. Let me list the criteria that I think is relevant (note that these are not all of the criteria).

Palpitations (heart skipping a beat), pounding hear, or accelerated heart rate
Sweating
Trembling or shaking
Sensations of shortness of breath
Chest discomfort
Feeling faint
Hot flashes

I know that I have had many of these feelings in the presence of somebody that I was very attracted to. To be considered a panic attack, the person must have at least for of these criteria abruptly start and reach a peak in 10 minutes.

The Cross Simply Put

2007-09-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; (Ephesians 2:8)

We have all fallen short of the Glory of God and sinned, and deserve death. God sent his son (Jesus) to die for our sins. This is foundational in Christianity. I was hit again with this reality in a place that I didn't expect. I was listening to Akon's Sorry, Blame It On Me and was impacted by the fact that what he was talking about (not specifically) what what Jesus did for us.

You can check out the music video;

Akon says that "Even though the blame’s on you, I’ll take that blame from you. You could put that blame on me." That is what Jesus tells us. Yes, you have sinned and deserve death... but I will take that blame and die on the cross for you. Even though Akon probably wasn't thinking about any of this, God still used it to speak to me.

Just how I am

2007-08-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

So, I think that I'm crazy a lot of times... or at least that's what I've been told. This weekend has been good, I was just at "family camp" for my church. We were up at Riverview Bible Camp, which was awesome. Hanging out by the river, ping-pong, going down a sweet giant slide, sitting around with good conversation and playing cards. Anyways, I have my family's "family camp" today through Tuesday. I was planning on leaving the church camp right after service, but I'm not good at that. I feel like I don't want to leave, because I never get to just hang out with my church family very long. I'm sitting playing cards, and it's almost 9pm (I have a four hour drive ahead of me to make it to the tri-cities). My friend Chasteny gives me puppy dog eyes and says that I shouldn't leave yet. Needless to say I didn't leave until almost midnight... opps. I'm a sucker for relationships I guess, and not so much a sucker for sleep.

Agent Roy and Easy

2007-08-15T19:16:00.000-07:00

I was driving earlier today, in downtown Spokane to go to a bead shop. On my way, a woman and a man ran directly in front of me. I was able to slam on my breaks quickly enough to escape running them over. They proceeded to run around my car multiple times, and yelled that I should call 911. I pulled over on the next street, and walked back to see what was happening. The woman had disappeared (probably into the Laser Quest facility next door). The man was yelling at some workers, telling them that they had to call 911. On my way to hopefully calm the man down, I started talking to a guy that lived near by. He said his name was Easy, and that he had just heard a big ruckus and them almost get run over by me. I went over to the guy, and told him that he should walk away from the business (the manager was telling him that if he didn't leave they would file a complaint. The man told me that his name was Agent Roy, and that they were all going to be sorry when the police show up. I didn't contradict his claims to be a retired millionaire, even though he looked like somebody with a mental illness barely making it. I walked with him, and told them that he should sit and calm down and wait for the police to show up. Easy walked over to were we were and said that he though Roy was on drugs or something, and that he also though he should calm down. Easy said that he was an OG (Original Gangster... he was a black guy in his 50 or 60 and seemed really weathered by both drugs and the street), and that he's had to deal with the police a lot. This got Agent Roy to calm down. The police showed up a couple minutes later, and started questioning people. I told him what I had seen, and then took off. It was an interesting experience.

Interesting contacts

2007-05-23T15:22:00.000-07:00

As of lately, I have gotten quite a few people contacting me though my website For example I've had two relatives of my dad contact me. This is really exciting, because I have had no contact with that side of the family for a number of years.

The contact was stopped when I was in the 7th grade or so, and I called my grandpa to ask about my family history on that side (I had a family tree project due for school) and he basically said to F---- off. So the communication lines broke for that side of the family.

Well, my dad's cousin and his sister have all contacted me from there. I also had a gentleman from California give me a call and talk to me about my dad. Then, yesterday, I had another person send me an email saying that they had met my dad before. She had also written a poem for him;

It is fine to live in your mind
But do not let yourself be led to death like a dumb beast
You will not want to die
No one could know the desperation
Having failed in sparing you
They torture others who feel so alone
Like little birds in the nest after
the sound of a rifle cracks

I won't disclose the authors name, but I was very blessed.

Just driving

2007-05-17T01:37:00.000-07:00

So I went out driving tonight. I guess I just needed to clear my head. I guess it's kind of expensive way to clear my head (with gas over $3.50 per gallon). I found a little area behind Geiger Heights. I kept seeing the Spokane city lights off in the distance, and hoping that I could find a road that lead somewhere that would over look them. I left my homework behind at my hall, and now I should really get back to it.

Living Missional

2007-04-02T01:16:00.000-07:00

I continually find myself coming back to thinking about how much more there must be to this life. One way that I think about my life, is looking at it being something that must be missional. My definition of missional is as follows.

Missional means purposely living every day (hour & minute) focused on doing Gods will. Missional living includes both an emphasis of our lives being focus not on the temporal but on Gods mission. Along with looking to Gods will, it also necessarily deals in concrete continual actions.

Over spring break, I was blessed to be able to go on mission trip to Salt Lake City Ut. The trip was phenomenal. I heard Renea (the Director of CBC’s NCM) mention the word missional, and started to think about it. The previous is what I came up with to comprehend the word. It flows along the same lines and another quote I’ve heard before (I’ve heard it attributed to a number of saints) “Pray as if it all depends on GOD, and live as if it all depends on YOU.” The mixture of waiting on God for everything, yet fully believing that you want to step out and act in practical ways is a vital concept in our Christian lives.

The trip was made up of in-reaches & out-reaches. Meaning we got to do things focused on the body of Christ (both within the team and outside of the team) and do stuff for people who where unbelievers. Probably the most exciting thing that I got to do was lead to different people to accept Christ into their lives.

Other than that we did a lot of other things;

Fri 23 -- We started off the trip traveling to Boise ID, where we had an airsoft war.
Sun & Mon 24-25 -- We got to spend time passing out DVD’s door to door. Salt Lake has a huge population of people in the LDS church. The DVD’s were put out by Good News For LDS. The movie focused on the teaching of the bible comparing it to the teaching of Joseph Smith and the LDS Church. It was really well put together.
Tue, Wend & Thu 26-28 -- We did a lot of various activities. Each morning we broke up into groups and went out to do service (for churches, people, organizations). Early afternoon we would prepare for a kids club that we put on. Two of the evenings we helped at the churches food pantry and the third night we went and ministered at a youth group.

So, I guess I’m famous

2007-03-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

I wanted to let all of you know that God is so amazing. A couple of weeks ago, I had a reporter call me from the Tri-City Herald. She was doing a story on Jubilee Youth Ranch. The reporter, Sara Schilling, interviewed me for like 45 minutes. I thought that was a long time. I was blessed to be able to share a lot of my testimony with her and that some of it could be placed into the paper. I didn’t realize how awesome it would be. She said that she wanted to come and meet me, and bring a photographer.

A couple of weeks later her and Rich (the photographer) came and visited me. They hung out at the RHA bake sale that I was attending, went to my classes with me. It was like I was famous. They had me posing in the back of the class during breaks (everybody kept whispering and looking back at us).

They hung out until 5 or so that night just talking (especially about God). I guess they met with my mom, for like 45 minutes too. Well, the article finally came out. It was in the Sunday newspaper (the most distributed edition) and was on the front page. The entire article is about Jubilee, but God’s story of restoration in my life is all thought it. The story itself took up 1/3 of the front page, and two entire pages on the 6^th and 7^th pages. I was absolutely blown away by the story.

Dancing With God

2007-03-04T15:51:00.001-08:00

My mom sent me an email with this poem on it. I really liked, although I have no clue where it came from. With dancing being my new favorite thing, I figured that I would post about it.

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance,

I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.

The movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.

It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word
Guidance.

When I saw "G: I thought of God, followed by 'u' and 'i'."
"God, 'u' and 'i' dance"
God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.

Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.

May you abide in God as God
abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
and to guide you through each season of your life.

This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.

If God has done anything for
you in your life,
please share this message
with someone else,
for prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive.

There is no cost but a lot of rewards;
so let's continue to pray for one another.

And I Hope You Dance

Yeah for fire alarms

2007-01-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to let you all know that fire alarms are pretty amazing. I get to practice leaving my dorm fairly often this quarter. I guess just because there is snow on the ground doesn't mean that it's that cold

¿Do you think I have style?

2007-01-28T01:12:00.000-08:00

Let me know what you think. I have just finished re-creating my website. I am wondering if which you think looks better, is more accessible… etc. Also, please let me know if you think that any colors or anything such as that do not look good. If you are using an older IE browser… ignore the logo (I will change the background color) although it shouldn’t show up. Anyways, thanks in advance for checking it out.

Old version;
http://webpages.charter.net/jacobshouse/

New version;
http://webpages.charter.net/jacobshouse/index2.htm

News flash, don’t believe everything you read online

2007-01-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

In searching for money for school next year, I have come to decide that there at least 14 scholarships that I will be applying for this year. Whew, I have a lot of reports to write… dang. I was attempting to be somewhat productive and start writing on the scholarship that is due coming up. I had remembered a quote that I had heard one time

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing

Upon doing a Google search on just such a topic, the first response I came upon was an article by a gentleman, Martin Porter, that is an essay about web quotations. I found it interesting. There a many different quotes that are attributed to Edmund Burke. Not only does everybody quote Burke differently, but there is no resources that show where the real quote if from (ie, to go back to the paper version).

Simple Gospel

2007-01-02T12:39:00.000-08:00

I recently finished reading a book that was really good. It is called Under The Overpass, by Mike Yankoski. It is a very powerful book that describes these two young men that started questioning their faith and if they would be able really live it out where it was more difficult. They lived on the streets for five months, homeless. They had a lot of chances to minister to people, and be ministered to, to have good times, and to have really hard times. It’s a really good book, I’d highly recommend it.

As I was reading the book I started thinking about love. I think too often I have thought of my following Jesus to be a complicated thing. I mean, there is a lot of area’s of life to think about and try to be the best man that I can be. I was brought back to the concept of love. That’s all we have to do is just love. Jesus describes it as loving God, and loving our neighbors (ie those that around us). It is that simple, that we just love.

As I read the book, I also had a stirring feeling inside of me. I have know for a while that I want to work with people who are needy. This book got me excited to reach out to those that are underserved in our community. I noticed myself passionately speaking to a couple of friends the other day at a New Years party about poverty and needy people.

Live every action as if it was noteworthy, and don’t worry about it if nobody is their to note it

2006-12-09T03:09:00.000-08:00

I just watched Cinderella Man, a movie that I am adding to my favorite movies. I watched it sometime last year and was very impressed with it, but seeing it again was a really refreshing experience. Paul one time said to follow after him, as he followed after Christ. I think in the same way, I have some hope that I can live like James Braddock. The movie portrays him as man of great integrity. It also showed a great picture of relationships. I was driving home, and praying and singing to God and I found myself praying the title to this post. I decided that I wanted to share it with all of you, my loyal readers.

If I can live in a way that every action that I do is attempting to do the best that I can. If I can live as if each of my decisions was important and focus my actions on helping those around me. If I can be willing to risk, and go for the dreams that God has given me. If I can do all that (and more…), but not care at all if others see it. To be willing to come and do these things that could make me feel like a great person, and somebody that makes a difference. To do that, and not care at all if anybody else notices, care, sees, is encouraged, or anything except what God thinks.

Now accepting applications to serve

2006-11-07T00:11:00.000-08:00

Recently I went to the Union Gospel Mission (UGM), to get plugged in and start serving. I was amazed at their ministry. A few years ago, when I was in the Master’s Commission, we went and served a number of times at the UGM. We served at a number of their ministries; doing physical labor at Tshimakain Creek Camp, cleaning rooms and serving at the men mission, and sorting Christmas gifts at Anna Ogden Hall the woman and children’s shelter. This gave me a small picture of their ministries, so when I moved got to EWU it seemed a good choice for volunteering my time. I called them up, and asked them how I could serve. They told me to come to a volunteer training session that next week (they have three or four a month). At the training there was seven or eight other adults, plus many of them brought their young teens. We went over the many different areas of ministry that the UGM has their hands in. It made sense that there were so many possible volunteers, if there wasn’t they wouldn’t run.

At this session, they give you an volunteer application. This consists of three pages of information about the mission, working with homeless men and women safety promotions, a double sided in-depth application (definitely longer then some of the applications I filled out for fast food restraints), and even a form to allow them to do a background check. What a process. After turning in my application, I was called a few days later to schedule a interview with the director of volunteers. With my busy schedule, we decided that day was the best to come in and do the interview. Meeting Ryan, the volunteer director, was a really good experience. It was one, getting to focus on each other’s experiences in Christ. The interview seemed more of a means of deciding where I was best placed into the UGM’s many ministries, then whether or not I was able to come and volunteer. I was dumbfounded at the process, something that I would have never expected.

Hopefully soon, I will be posting some interesting stories about my volunteer experiences at the mission. We are planning on me taking some hours weekly or bi-weekly to come in and hang out in the men’s mission day room. This is where the guests (non-programmatic) have an opportunity to hang out. I will hopefully just be able to hang out with the guys, maybe play chess, share my story, listen to their stories, and especially be able to share Christ. I will also be helping input data into the computer systems and doing what ever odd jobs the mission needs done.

New web design stuff

2006-11-01T20:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what my family tree looks like? What about some of the stuff that I have going on in my life graphically represented in an eco-map. Well, you can check all that out at my website. I just added it. You can also stop being a stocker :). J/K. It also took some JavaScript, which I am barely learning and some new ideas in xHTML. Also, I created a contact me page, that uses a cool form.

Mentos & Diet Coke

2006-10-17T00:47:00.000-07:00

I’ve never understood the concept of diet drinks. I think they taste funny, and probably don’t take off enough calories to really be of any benefit. I finally have found a benefit to diet drinks, specifically Diet Coke. Although, diet drinks aren’t good for drinking this proves that they are good for something. That is causing 15 foot water displays.

Steps to DC Geysers

Buy some Diet Coke (2 liter, Wal-Mart brand), a package of Mentos, and a paper clip (because we are going MacGyver style, no gum necessary)
Without exploding the coke, remove the cap and put a hole in the top for the geyser to flow out of (a Philips screwdriver is plenty big enough)
String the Mentos onto the paperclip (leaving enough to hang out of the cap, and a pin to pull and cause the geyser to flow)
Screw the cap onto the coke bottle (without letting the Mentos touch the diet coke)
When you are ready, drop the homemade Mentos geyser pin into the coke and run for cover
Expect a good show of Diet coke, being hurled in to the air

God sometimes tears down before he can build up

2006-09-18T03:11:00.000-07:00

I find it interesting that I made the comment earlier today that “God sometimes has to tear down before he can build up.” It is so true. I was making the comment to be funny. I went over to Café Extreme after church, and we were looking at the comments that people had left in the comment box. Most of the comments were nice, especially about the prettiness of the baristas. One of them said “I’ve had better.” So they said they liked all of them except that one.

I guess I have had a couple of building up experiences, and cool stuff that has happened since I’ve gotten to move into the residential hall’s at Eastern. I’ve gotten to make some friends and people that I am sure I will hang out with a lot this next year. I’ve had some interesting conversations about God. So that has been good. It has also been really good getting to be back at my home Church, it really feels like home. I also had a sort of tearing down experience. I went to Zips, which is open 24/7 with free wireless… perfect college student hang out. It was about 1 in the morning, so there were interesting people there. I had two guys come up to me and ask me about my sweatshirt that I was wearing. It says that I’m “Recycled, due to 2 Cor 5:17.”

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

I didn’t even know how to respond to a comment about my cool Christian shirt. He invited me to go to a party the next night. He even told me I could drink for free if I brought two chicks. I’m believing that God wants to use even that, to make me more secure in him and able to be used more.

Just in His Presence

2006-09-03T22:06:00.000-07:00

I was reading in Luke, and I came to the story about Zaccheus (Luke 19:1-10), a story that I am fairly familiar with and I had an interesting revelation. Zaccheus, the tax-collector, saw Jesus walking through Jericho, and decides that he wants to see him. Zaccheus is a short man, and can’t see him through the crowd. This does not detour him through. He come up with a way to get around the apparent problem at hand. He run’s in front of the crowd following Jesus, and climes a sycamore tree and waits for Jesus to pass under it. Jesus knows his name, which means I think that they had met before (but he could have just known it to). Jesus tells Zaccheus that he is going to dine at his house tonight. His unwillingness to accept circumstances the way that they were and his creativity and vigor landed him a night with Jesus. A awesome story, with a lot of life applications. What I find interesting is that the first thing that he tells Jesus is that he is going to give up half of his money, and pay back everybody that he has cheated four times as much. Maybe Zaccheus heard people grumbling about Jesus going to eat with a man that is a sinner, but His response to just being in Jesus’ presence was to say I am going to make a life change. Where I was going one way, I am going to go completely in the opposite direction (the essence of the word repentance). I just find it awesome that is his response to hanging out with Jesus, and that should be our response. It seems interesting that Jesus would say that “salvation” has come to his house that day.

360 Degrees

2006-09-02T03:16:00.000-07:00

I don’t know if you have ever heard that grills are hot. Well, I just wanted to let everybody know that this is true. I was helping a student learn how to clean the grill. We heat the grill up to 350degrees, and the grease and water is hot. I got it my arm singed and blistered from some hot grease. Looks pretty crazy hu?

Stand Firm

2006-07-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

There are all kinds of stories in the bible about standing firm. These great men of faith came and walked out Gods call even when they didn’t see it;

Build a boat!
Build a boat where there’s no water

Rain or shine
Walk it out,
Because we’re being led blind

End and beginning
He sees it all

Can you see it?
No!
Good

Walk not by sight,
Use your faith
And you’ll be all right

Build a boat!
Build a boat where there’s no water

Impress

2006-07-01T03:45:00.000-07:00

God loves to come and change our perspective. I was praying the other night, and I started to pray about God coming and changing me. I so often feel so much less then what God has called me to. Like I’m not quite there yet, but I know that he is calling me upwards. Like he is saying to come up where he is, and yet at the same time I keep falling short. The thing is that it’s not only him that is waiting for me to make it. Romans eight says that all creation is in earnest expectation for the mature sons of God to be revealed. Here is how the amplified bible puts it.

For [even the whole] creation (all nature) waits expectantly and longs earnestly for God's sons to be made known [waits for the revealing, the disclosing of their sonship].
~ Romans 8:19 (Amplified Bible)

Well, this scripture has been on my mind a lot. I know that God is calling us to come and shine like the stares, but I don’t feel like I can make it. So that is what I have been praying about lately (among other things). When I was praying I started telling the Holy Spirit that He had people to come and impress. When I prayed that I stopped and thought about it. I thought about that word as if it was a bad word. As if I was saying that I was supposed to be fake and try to live for people. As I thought about it more, I realized that it wasn’t a bad word. The word impress also means to press in like a stamp, to make an image of. If you imagine a ball of clay, and putting your hand into it and making a hand image, that image is an impression of your hand. I realized what I was praying was not a “bad” word, but really a great thing. That God would use me to make an impression of him in peoples lives. Although I continually fall short, I still have the desire to be used. I know that if we keep working and pressing into him, that we will reach that point of being Gods mature sons. He is waiting to reveal us, in His timing. I don’t know if you can feel it, but there is an a waiting of all creation for it.

I Am a Promise

2006-05-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

The movie, I Am a Promise directed by Susan and Alan Raymond is a documentary about Stanton Elementary School in Philadelphia. It is an eye-opening story, showing an area where 90% of the students are living way below the poverty line. This film showcases what some of the nations poorest school conditions consist of. Some of the conditions shown are the all to common behavior difficulties, under funded, under staffed, and unsafe conditions, that each of these children are being raised in. It was produced in 1993, and won an Oscar.

Seeing scenes of abject poverty are not anything that I have not seen. I have seen areas in America that are very poor. I have also seen poverty in nations such as Mexico and The Congo. Even thought it would seem like having already seen these types of things, that it would still have the same sort of effect to see it. But every time I am confronted with the realness of other people’s lives and the life that they live it cultivates a response in me. Some of this has to do with me specifically, in that I am a very compassionate person and hope to pour out my life working with people in some sort of need. I also think that seeing the “quality” of some peoples lives we feel an empathy towards them and it touches us inside too. It is the depravity in human nature that sometimes has the deepest affect on us. For example, a few years ago I went to Washington DC. One of the places that we went was the Holocaust Memorial. This is a four story building, filled with graphic, audio visual and kinesthetic accounts of the Nazi genocide of the Jewish people. When we left the museum, after spending the majority of a day and not covering more then 1/3 of the total memorial, and our group was exhausted and down trodden. It affected the different members of our group in different ways to various degrees, but everybody was affected. These types of extreme displays of human depravity are experiences that stick with the experiencer, and can even become a driving force in the viewer’s life.

One of the many possible emotional responses to viewing a film such as this one is anger. Some believe that anger is not a good emotion or a feeling that should be embraced. Although, it is an overly used and abused emotion it is a valid and necessary one. Anger is generally a problem when it is maliciously directed at an individual and not used for a productive purpose. Viewing a little girl named Nadia that was born to drug addicts living on the streets definitely invokes anger. It is not anger that should be taken out against her parents, but one that is moving to create change. When injustice is seen, anger can be the appropriate response. So, when I rhetorically ask myself the question “What should I get from this,” which happens to be a good question ask after almost anything. What came to mind is a passion for people who are in such difficult circumstances not by their own fault.

There were a number of things that are notable. One such instance is looking at how Deanna Burney (the schools principle) carries herself. It is very apparent that she either has a lot of experience and or is shaped to work in that sort of situation. It is amazing how she just walks onto the playground and has interactions with at least 20 kids, a number wanting attention from her. I was struck by the thought that if all the other staff operated at the same level as Deanna, then maybe they could really reach the kids. Deanna was amazing dealing with the young children, constantly affirming, confronting problems, and working extra hours. In thinking though the thought that “if only all the teachers at Stanton Elementary were as dedicated and good as Deanna, then they would be able to really bring about change in these young peoples lives.” This is true to a point, that if the rest of the staff was of the same caliber it would help. I started to change my thinking about this as I have been reading our book, One Nation Underprivileged by Robert Rank. Even if they had enough staff, and staff that would not every be short of new students needing help. They also have no real control over the student’s home life and or where they go after leaving Stanton.

Dirty Trick

2006-04-25T15:36:00.000-07:00

So I am left with the question if I should be on the internet during class. Since we have gotten wireless at school, I have gotten in the habit of having a browser open while I’m taking notes in class. That way if the Professor talks about something that I want to find more about I can do a quick Google search. I also keep one of my tabs (because I use FireFox) open as my Gmail account. I do this so that if I get any important messages I can check them. So I got this email sometime after I left my house for 7spot and my ANT 111 class.

What's up Jacob? Listen, I made a website for discussion and homework/studying help regarding our Anthropology 111 class. I 'm spreading the link as much as I can trying to get as many people on it as possible, hoping a lot of people want to help each other get a good grade in that class. Anyways, tell me what you think:

http://www.taffanth111.com

The only problem, was the link was different. I clicked it, figuring it would pertain to class. Well, it was a link to a porn sight! Somebody had watched me enough to see what my email address is, and sent it to me so that I would open it during class. I herd a couple of guys in the back row snickering at me. I closed the tab as quickly as I could, very embarrassed. I was also thankful that I had my volume muted or else I would have been the laughing stock of the class. Jacob the "guy who looks at porn during class," yeah, that’s not me. I was glad that I did not audibly yell or something too, because I was that surprised. I was not sure how to respond, so I sent the person back this email;

Wow, you got me good. Right during class (I’m sure that’s how you planned it)… pretty smart figuring out my address too. Well I’m not sure who you are and I’m not really too worried about it… I’ll just have to be more cautious about opening mail during class. Since you sent me a message I figured I should send something back. I want to let you know that Jesus Christ came and died for you and me. It says that if we believe with our hearts and confess with our mouths that Jesus is lord and that he died on the cross for us that we shall be saved. I can tell you this is the truth, I was addicted to drugs, pornography; but I have been set free. You can read some of my testimony if you are interested at Jubilee Youth Ranch’s Website. Now it’s just about walking it out it out for me. I wanted to let you know that Jesus wants you to come to Him and He will accept you. Also, if your tired of Pornography in your life (I believe that it is destructive in anybody’s life) here are a couple of recourses for you.

A book that I am currently reading by Mark B. Kastleman, Understanding and Overcoming an addiction to the Drug of the New Millenium: Pornography. Healing Hearts & Mending Minds. It is a really good book, I am really enjoying it and it’s insightful.

A website that is also very beneficial is www.xxxchurch.com. This has also been a very valuable website.

Well, God bless and maybe we will actually get to talk sometime

Jacob

So we’ll see what happens. At least I got the opportunity to share with them about Christ.

Burn away the Chaff

2006-04-13T01:12:00.000-07:00

I was talking with my friend Kayla and we started talking about God being a consuming fire. That’s what it says in Hebrews 12 (one of my favorite chapters).

The Unshaken Kingdom

See to it that you do not refuse Him who is speaking for if those did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape who turn away from Him who warns from heaven. And His voice shook the earth then, but now He has promised, saying, "YET ONCE MORE I WILL SHAKE NOT ONLY THE EARTH, BUT ALSO THE HEAVEN." This expression, "Yet once more," denotes the removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire.
(Hebrews 12:25-29 NASB)

That is what God is doing in our lives. He is shaking our lives up, and wanting what is left of us to that which is eternal. He wants to consume us, to have all of us be focused on him. Even when we don’t feel close to him, we can come and show gratitude to him.

Within this, God is testing us, revealing our works. Our life is not about works. God loves us the same no matter what we do, but without works our faith is dead. We can be like the lyrics to Tree 63’s song “Look What You’ve Done For Me.”

Look what You've done for me
Your blood has set me free
Jesus my Lord look what You've done for me

I haven't been the same
Ever since that day I called Your name
Yahweh
Yahweh Look What You've done for me

What can I do for You my Lord?
I want You to know my heart is Yours
It's not a question of what You can do for me
But what can I do for You my Lord?

Up to Your cross I crawled
Now I am standing teen feet tall
Jesus my savior look what You've done for me

Free at last I'm free
I owe You my life completely
Yahweh
Yahweh look what You've done for me

It is a response to what God has done in our lives. But really it is looking at the foundation that has been laid in our lives. In Romans 3:11-13, it talks about this foundation that no man can lay. But if a man builds upon the foundation of Jesus then every man’s work will be made manifest (it will be shown). Paul lists six things. He lists; gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, and stubble. He does not really break these up, but they seem obvious to be broken up, especially with what he goes on to say. He says that the way that a many work will be made manifest, is it shall be reviled by fire, and the fire shall try every man’s work, to see what sort it is. Well, if it is reviled by fire I see three foundations that will stay, that which is gold, silver, and precious stones. The Wood, hay, and stubble will all be gone without a trace. We must be cautious, that we lay a correct foundation. He is going to shake and burn away all the parts that aren’t of Him or eternal. That, is what in the end really matters.

Taking Candy From a Baby

2006-04-11T23:47:00.000-07:00

When we are young, we are constantly attempting to find out what the reality that we walk about in is all about. Toddlers are constantly touching, tasting, and really testing their whole world. When children are young, like in grade school or middle school, they value a lot what older more mature people say. They are very formative. They also do not have the ability to properly defend all their points of view. Normally if they have an idea that is in conflict with somebody else’s, they fight it emotionally rather then rationally. But generally, it is relatively easy to get them to change their mind and especially to win an argument.

I say all of this, to explain a bit of what I felt like today and yesterday. I’m currently taking Introduction to Anthropology (ANT 111). My instructor, Professor Taff, has been studying evolution and material related to it for most of his life. He is a very well educated man, who obviously understands logic. He opened up the class floor to discuss the validity of evolution. I tried to bring up some of the arguments that I have heard on creationism defense, but was shut down on every attempt. I have read sparsely about evolution, but logically it seems that evolution does not work. The problem is that I don’t know any of the proof. I didn’t have any sort of scientific evidence to back it up. So in my going back and forth with Taff, I lost miserably. It must have been like taking candy from a baby.

Purposeful Brokenness

2006-04-03T22:35:00.000-07:00

I have always prayed for brokenness in my life. This is a strange and scary prayer to pray. If you have ever prayed that God bring hard stuff into your life, that He would break you, or even that he would take your world apart. I have been so ministered to by the Jars of Clay song, Worlds Apart. It says

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

It is a foreign concept for me to pray that God take my world apart. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a masochist. I don’t go though life and I don’t love pain. I do believe that God uses the hard things in my life to conform me to his image. That is Gods goal in our life. He wants us to turn to him, and be changed into the likeness of his son. We are supposed to participate in the fellowship of [Jesus’] sufferings. When we catch this, and are transformed by Him, then we will be able to walk in the power that Jesus walked in. He uses the stuff in our lives to get rid of the bad qualities we have in our lives. If we were to be able to walk in the power that Christ walked in, yet still have our bad habits it would be detrimental for us and those around us. God is doing us a favor, when he disciplines us or doesn’t allow bad habits to stay in our lives. He is doing what is best for us.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.

~ Romans 8:28-30

We are to be conformed to His image!

More then Conquerors

2006-03-26T02:00:00.000-08:00

God says that we are more than conquerors, but I know that I don not all ways feel it. I also know that he calls us to live lives set apart to him, but I do not know if I always follow that either. I feel like I try to give my whole life over to God, and even sometimes when I am doing that, I still feel discouraged. By the word discouraged, I mean it as Webster’s 1984 states it.

To extinguish the courage of; to dishearten; to depress the spirits; to deject; to deprive of confidence.

I am beginning to think possible that this discouragement that I am feeling. This feeling like I am defeated (The word that came up as I was think about how I felt today), is linked to my consecration to God. Am I giving Him everything. I don’t know that I can say that I am setting myself apart to him. Even being on a mission trip right now, I was feeling defeated. I so want to walk as a conqueror, and believe God has that for me, but need to lean how to better give myself to Him. Tonight, I spent some time with some close friends getting to worship and seek Him and that was really good. The whole trip that I have been in Vancouver, I have been wanting to do some corporate worship, but have been unable to find who… so that is awesome. More from Canada later!

Good… Bush isn’t a xenophobe

2006-02-22T16:38:00.000-08:00

Today in my Political Science Class, PS 103 International Relations, Dr Bullert was talking about the political tsunami that has been going on in regards to the Dubai-based company take over of many of our nations sea ports. It has been a bi-partisan uproar against the president and this port deal. Although President Bush had no idea about this deal until it was passed, he still supports the decision and has even threatened use of his veto power on any legislation that could be passed through congress trying to halt the deal. Dr Bullert seemed to be totally against President Bush, even though mainly he is a highly conservative. This mirrors much of congress. I did not agree with his position at all. I tried to speak up and bring up some other points of view in class, but was not able to due to the fact that another student brought up some different points before I was able to and Dr Bullert moved on very quickly. I had listened to an NPR report earlier that morning, on the drive to school, that had given me a different perspective. Much of the facts seem to be left behind in the worry over this corporate take-over, but there is an interesting resource that can be read with many of the Q & A about this deal. It would seem to me that there is a political hype over security, when there is really not much of an issue. With management and the majority of the workers continuing to be the same people, I do not see what kind of security risk this poses. They will not be running the ports or handling the security. It would seem that they would have the same sort of security risk of allowing Muslims become workers at a port (i.e. seeing how security works, and implementing some sort of attack). This just does not make sense to me. It also seems to be a case of xenophobia. For America to allow the members of one nation to run our ports, but not allow another nation to do the exact same is not a correct stance. If members of congress want to attack globalization and the free flow of trade companies I would listen to that… but not just because they are Muslims or from an Arab country.

New web design activities

2006-02-09T23:48:00.000-08:00

So I haven’t posted in a long time… but not for lack of doing anything online. I have been up to a lot. First, I was on a modified Internet fast (not letting myself look online recreationally. I also have been putting my hand a stronger learning of HTML. Namely I built a website… with the help of my friend Daniel. We took the content of the old website, and basically redid everything in a new way. I found it to be very enjoyable, although I moved to almost every extra moment working on it. It was for the college ministry that I am involved with NCM. I have now, gotten my own domain name, and am even looking at hosting my own website (something to just play with). I am not sure yet… but I know that I will find another time waster fun online activity. Maybe I will revamp this page, well at least get back to posting a few times a week.

Surfs Up

2006-01-07T09:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, so this is a bit foolish. But I was surfing the web, and I got my brain eaten by a zombie! Well, now I guess I am a zombie too. If you click here I will eat your brain... eh I mean you will be saved and I won't eat your brain.

A New Years resolution?... actually just a interesting conversation

2006-01-03T00:02:00.000-08:00

Working this weekend… well first I will tell you that it was a bit crazy. I worked Saturday (New Years Eve), until 2am. Then I checked my email, and went into the next room of the office in the dorm and went to sleep on the couch. I woke up four hours later, put cloths on… put my stuff away in my bag and started working again. So then I worked from 7:30am until 1am the next morning… 17.5 hours. A little bit of a long day I would say. But it was not too bad. All that is not what I really wanted to write about, I guess it is just a pre-curser to the story. I got to take the students into town for church. This was really good, I enjoyed the service (we went to Solid Rock), but I think I was more blessed by the ride. I got to ride, and talk with one of my fellow staff members Alex. We got into some really good discussions. One of the things that we got onto talking about was relationships. He was describing the relationship that he has with his wife and it just seemed right. They both go and do ministry together. They’re a team. I know that this may sound obvious too most of you… but getting to talk to him what it is practically like was just awesome. That is what it is supposed to be about. He was sharing his testimony, and talking about going into some pretty bad places and ministering. He has been through a lot of the world… on the worse side of it, where his wife grew up in the church. But they still go and minister in these places. He also encouraged me about becoming a father… something I know that I am excited for, but also wonder because I grew up without one. What does it mean to have a family? I am not exactly sure what it is supposed to look like, and he told me that he wasn’t either. But God has been blessing him. I don’t know, maybe I’m just wishing and sentimental or something… but I was just blessed by God’s plan for us.

Lyrics to my Life

2005-12-27T15:33:00.000-08:00

Rescue Is Coming
There’s Darkness in my skin.
My cover’s wearing thin, I believe.

I’d love to start again,
go back to innocent,
and never leave.

Don’t give up now.
A break in the clouds, we could be found.

There’s nothing wrong with me.
It’s just that I believe things could get better.

And there’s nothing wrong with love.
I know it’s just enough to believe.

Don’t give up now.
A break in the clouds, we will be found.

Rescue is coming now

These lyrics are off of David Crowder Band’s new Album, A Collision or (3 + 4 = 7). This is an amazing CD, and it has steadily been in my CD player since Christmas when I got it. But I was listening to this song, driving home from one of my friends last night. I was feeling discouraged. I started to sing this song, and went off into my own song (something that I do frequently). I started singing about how I have to believe no matter what I see, that it’s going to get better. That how it’s gonna be, is better then where it’s been (not these lyrics specifically). But it was good for my heart. So often I think when we live our lives, we only see the circumstances and not what God is doing behind the scenes.

Dilemma

2005-11-30T23:46:00.000-08:00

So, all of our lives we are faced with different choices that. The one that I am faced with right now, is not that important… but it could be construed as something vital. I have received a few Gmail requests, and have denied every one of them. But, I found out some very interesting information today. I enjoy using Outlook for my calendar and tasks. I have always desired to use it for my email, but Yahoo charges for the POP3 access and I think it would be stupid to pay for something like that. So I got myself a Gmail account (jacob.r.campbell@Gmail.com), but I have not decided if I want to bother trying to change everything over to them. I think I do… but I don’t know if people will really change me over in their accounts. I do that for others, so should I think that others won’t do that for me. So, if you have an opinion I will be deciding in the next day or two what I will do. I won’t get rid of the yahoo account, it will actually go back to being my spam account (that is how it started). I used to use Juno, a random little company and would give out my campjacob account for anything else I needed. Well, we will see what happens. Please respond and tell me what you think.

Bringing it back into focus

2005-11-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

In our lives, it is vital to have people that are pouring into us & people we are pouring into. This means I need to be being discipled and be discipling too. I have been meeting with a counselor and with my pastor (when I can make time in my busy schedule). I got to go with my pastor last week to help a elderly lady move, and we used our driving time to talk about some real stuff. One of the things that we got into was, talking about praying the bible I have done that in the past, but not in a intentional way. Many times when I pray, God brings different scriptures to my mind and I will read them back to Him. After talking to him, I was encouraged to be more focused on actually taking the bible and praying scriptures and applying the word to my life. I have been doing that for this last week a lot more, and I woke up this morning to God wanting to show me something’s. first, he brought me to Corinthians and Paul describing the difficulties in his life and then the fact that God was strengthening his inward man (his spirit). So I prayed that God would come and strengthen me every day. I took my shower and God brought me to another scripture;

I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, and crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, and not forsake them.

~ Isaiah 42:16

This is where I am at right now. I feel like I am walking blind right now. I am not exactly sure where I am going, but I know that he is leading me. I can feel so abandoned sometimes, but he won’t leave us blind and lost. He is guiding me in my life, and it’s not going to necessarily be where I thought I was going to go. I don’t think that we know where we are going in this life, but it is more of those paths that we don’t know. Where our blindness is, and when we are in darkness he is constantly illuminated and making crooked uneven places straight. He is faithful, and will fulfill his promises he has made and that to me is amazing and more than enough. He has our best interests at heart, no matter what circumstance look like.

The Uprising

2005-11-24T09:11:00.000-08:00

God is calling for a generation that is extreme for Him. I desire to live fully for Him, but sometimes I ask myself what am I doing for Him. I think about Him all time, pray, work with the youth out at Jubilee, but I am so dissatisfied. I think about my life, and ask is this is what it was meant to u like? I was sitting with some of my friends the other day, playing the “what do you want to do game.” I really hate that game, those times that you sit around asking everybody what they want to do. I am very chill in my personality. I enjoy just sitting around talking and hanging out. I don’t have to be playing some sort of game to be ok. I always just make random suggestions, and can normally list off a bunch of things to do. One of the things I said this particular time was go to the Union Gospel Mission and do something for them. The suggestion was called random, and dismissed as a joke. But why does that have to be some thing that we wouldn’t just go do. Why don’t we look for opportunities like that? Why is it that I get all excited to go and fill my stomach with a thanksgiving meal, but am apathetic to go out and do anything that will really have an impact for His kingdom? We will sit around, and ask (or in my case watch everybody else ask) what they want to do but we don’t ever ask God. What is stopping me and my friends from spending time together just praying. I had somebody come and post a comment on my blog, getting me to check out their blog. From there I found my way to a dramatic presentation of the vision. This is something that I have heard before, but the first time I have ever seen it put to flash. I forget sometimes that our lives our not our own. I don’t know sometimes how to live a life completely devoted to Him. This presentation is put on by a group that seems to be starting a 24/7 prayer place. I long for their to be a movement like that here, to have a place that can continually be bathing the city in prayer, that seems so amazing to me.

Technology, does it really make life easer

2005-11-18T16:37:00.000-08:00

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology. I use it all the time. I am an internet head, talk on my cell phone more then my allotted 1,000 minute plan (not counting nights and weekends), and aspire to buy a lot of cool new technology. I have my eye on a lot of things, such as a new Motorola Bluetooth headset, a new cooler phone (that functions as a PDA), Adobe Photoshop… etc. I have a lot of desires to buy new technologies. I am intrigued by them, feel sometimes like I can’t live with out the technologies that I have implemented in my life. Very recently I have started using some connectivity tools.

One thing that I do now more then before, is chatting online using MSN or Yahoo’s messenger. You can contact me at campjacob@Yahoo.com (for MSN) or Send IM if you wanted to chat or something. Even though I am very open to that, I worry sometimes when I get on, if other people will be on, and I will be distracted. These instant messangers are great distractions a lot of the time. It is easy to get on and just chat for a long period of time. I could more, and sometimes do get on in “invisible mode,”: but I don’t like to do that. It makes me feel like I have to hide from people, and realistically I attempt to be very reachable in my life. I want to be able to be there for people as much as possible.

Recently, I have just purchased “The Coolest Thing Ever” a brand new Tablet PC. I can get on it anywhere. Currently I am writing this at CBC’s campus, witing on a lock smith to come and unlock my car door (so stupid). But it can be very distracting to be able to use my computer whenever, and I worry that it could effect relationships. I can get on my computer and time just disappears, and it is not so relationally building time, although sometimes it can be. During school weeks, frequently I come, sit down on the easy chair, open my computer and not really get off until I go to bed. I do get up and eat dinner with my mom (usually sitting and talking for a while after words) and occasionally have to use the bathroom (washroom for Canadians). Now, to be fair, a lot of this time is spent doing homework, but I do also easily get distracted. A few days ago, I was thinking about his habit and wondering how it makes my mom feel and what type of relationship I am building with her. Is this consistent thing that I am doing creating a habit in my life? It scares me a bit to think about someday, when I get married (hopefully) and have wife will I be doing something similar. The habits that I build and allow to take precedent in my life now, will carry on to when I get married and if they don’t get dealt with then will get passed on to my kids. It is a disgusting thought to me, that I could only come home and not really pay attention to those I love. I want to be somebody that engages life (and I do a lot of stuff, and don’t just live on my computer). But what will my life be like? Will I be engaging and romancing my wife…or will I be bogged down by work, trying to get more done then what my 9-5 allows.

Another new piece of technology that I recently acquired is a cell phone. This has disrupted my life in a number of ways. The biggest change is the money required. I end up talking on the phone for more then my allotted minutes (frequently doubling my bill). I recently had to raise the number of minutes that I am allowed, so that I don’t have to keep paying extreme overage charges. In using my cell, I handle a lot business and make a lot of short phone conversations to friends. I also talk to one of my best friends for a lot longer periods of time. I can end up talking to her for over an hour easily. I am glad to pay the cost to use the cell phone, because I figure that it should be useful and used as needed not under the minutes. Not only is it expensive to have a cell phone, it too, can be very distracting. With all of these technologies there is pros and cons. I will continue to utilize the technologies in my life and dream about the ones I wish I could have, but someday who knows maybe I will want to live a life of simplicity.

Running in Place

2005-11-10T00:02:00.000-08:00

Running in place is a strange concept. It would seem that the very idea of running involves going somewhere. To be running in place seems to be almost a self defeating idea, but yet it can still happen. It seems as if that is what I am doing right now, is running in place. I don’t know if you have ever felt like me, that you are trying to get somewhere and seem to be, only to realize that there are parts of your life that aren’t adding up to what they should? I have been struggling a lot lately with a lot of different issues. Some of the stuff has been very natural, like feeling like I am unable to accomplish what I need to, not having the intimate relationships that I should be cultivating, and especially not focusing on God. It is like I am starting to get my feet under me and starting run right now. I am not blindly throwing myself hopping to finish my tasks. I feel like I can start to run again, but even though this is happening I do not think that I will be able to go anywhere. Because my relationship with God is lacking, consistency and time, I am running in place. I am not going anywhere. I just haven’t had the focus or passion for God. I have barely picked up my bible, lost my place in the book I’m reading, and not had a study topic for ages. I MUST find a way to get out of my routine and rut, and start to focus on God, if I am going to survive in this life. I don’t really know what I need to do, but I know I need to stir myself up and encourage myself in the Lord like David. But what that looks like I am not exactly sure. I am just glad and encouraged that He has given me the grace to notice the position of my life.

Coolest ever

2005-11-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

I just got the coolest thing ever.A brand new computer. Yea, that's right I got a tablet PC. The fufillmet of 3 or 4 yews of anticipation. I got on Acer Tablet, Travel Mate C300. It is a sweet computer, although when it came in, it didn't have a battery, so stupid! But I allows me to take amazing notes in class, work at school, and ever blog while donating plasma.

Cool excursion

2005-10-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in our lives, we need little escapes from life. This last weekend, I got to get away, and have a good time. My friend Heather and I had been planning to go to Louisiana for a conference with our Church. She is living in Moscow Idaho right now, going to University of Idaho, so we don’t get together too often. We had been planning the trip for several months, plane tickets where bought, and we were excited. That was all until Katrina hit, and our plans were forced to change. We still wanted to go and do something (our plane tickets aren’t refundable, but we can trade them for something within the year). We decided to go to Portland for the weekend. Her brother and Fiancé, and my aunt and uncle live in that area. It was a good trip, and I really had a good time. Although, I did get a bit consumed with my thoughts and worries a couple of times, I still over all had a great trip. We arrived in Troutdale Wednesday night, and just hung with her family. Thursday we went to the Zoo, and out to eat at the best restaurant in the world (Red Robins). Friday, we went to Hawthorn St and met my aunt for lunch. Then we went and drove around town, and made our way over to her Grandma’s house. My are still scratched up from playing with their aggressive kitten. Heather bought a cool coat from G. I. Joes (looks really nice on her, and will be warm for this cold Idaho winter). Her brother also got himself a new coat. Saturday we went to the Saturday Market, which was a lot of fun. Heather got a cartoon caricature done, and we heard some cool street music. But for me the best part was riding the Train. On the way up to the Saturday Market, we got to share about what Jesus has done in our lives with a Native American guy. We just started talking to him, and it turned into talking about our faith. He said that he was a devoted to his native beliefs. I couldn’t seem to spit out words to ask him if he wanted to accept Christ into his life, but I think the conversation was still really encouraging for me.

First in Forever

2005-09-24T00:36:00.000-07:00

Summer vacation is done, and back to the grind of school and regular life. I was looking back over my journal, and I remembered a poem that I wrote. I wrote this strait through (no editing) at about 4 O’clock in the morning, after getting home from hanging out with some friends. It was a night that I had a lot going on in my heart, but I enjoy how it turned out. Here it is;

O’ priceless night,
I wish to hold you tight.
Let go I wont,
not till mornings light

My souls in darkness,
hurts and longings
lead me to cry out.

God answers with the softness,
listen
can you hear
He’s there
and will drown your fears

Shadows are deep
but nothings to steep.
within Gods Will is a mine field
follow closely
and get your mind blown.

Hearts at rest
makes me to be at my best.

And as for the end
God has made it clear.
Nothing ventured
nothing lost
but something left unfound,
worth more than all the pounds in Brittan

This is where I end and he begins

Jacob Campbell
7/8/05

So much

2005-06-17T00:54:00.000-07:00

I figured I just had to come and put up some sort of an update. Stuff has been so crazy for me so far this summer. I started working full time, and have already worked one double (15.5 hours), and am working another one this weekend. I started working full time. On my first weekend, I went to Spokane with my friend Heather. I got the idea, because of a broken taillight. A brand new taillight was only $23 in Spokane’s Spalding’s to paying almost a $100 at Richland’s Ford dealer. It seemed so much more fun to go to Spokane, see old friends and generally have a good time. It was also a lot cheaper, even with everything included. Here is a quick synopsis of some of the things that we did. I hung out with some of my best friends from MC’s (and Heather got to meet them), we went to Red Robin. I got to find out the amazing stuff that God is doing in some of their lives right now. We stayed at my old houseparents house, sat in the hot tub. Went shopping, got the best coffee in the world in Coeur d'Alene (bowl of soul). Visited a graveyard of an outlet mall in Post Falls. Hung out at the Davenport, only the most amazing hotel in Spokane... Played miniature golf at Wonderland (I lost), went to church. Didn’t fall asleep until 8am, and just generally had a good time. Also, in the works is a trip back through Spokane on Monday. Me, Heather, Dan, Kayla, and Bryce (maybe other people too) will be going to Silverwood. It’s going to be a blast! But alas, I only sleep less then four hours today… and am beat.

Through the Desert

2005-06-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

I have just finished up with school for this year. It’s summer time. That means jumping in the river… like everyday, boating, fishing, hanging out with friends, and lots of working. I’m really excited for this summer and I have also been hearing from God. I have been going through a season that has been filled with ups and downs. Even in all the difficulties, it has been good. I have been giving more of my life over to God, especially my emotions. I think that has, at least so far, been the hardest part of surrendering to God in my life.

As I was saying, I have been hearing from God. I feel like I am moving into a season of being in the desert. The Holy Sprit led Jesus into the desert. This prepared Jesus for his upcoming ministry. The same way that Jesus was prepared for the cross at the garden. The Spirit of God taught Paul for three years in the desert. Moses spent forty years in the desert, before God sent him back to Egypt. When God leads us into the desert, we know that it is going to be a season of a lot of growth. The reason that there is so much growth is because there is so much resistance in our lives. It allows issues to surface, so that they may be dealt with. I have been feeling like I am going into a season of being in the desert. Some of it, I know is going to be because I will be out at Jubilee. Jubilee is a dry place. It is a place where you are drained both mentally and spiritually. I am just excited for what God wants to do. I think that this will be a season where I have to dig wells. To dig down deep, and find God. To trust in a more violent (passionate) way. To trust in a more free and unhindered way.

Pick up your cross…

2005-05-20T03:10:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about the scripture in the Gospel of Matthew a lot lately. What does it mean for me in my life to pick up my cross and follow after Christ. I have gone and looked up some of the words in the Greek. I have also been somewhat been inspired by Wild at Heart, by John Eldridge. I am currently rereading this book, and attempting to go through it with some boys at Jubilee.

²⁴Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.²⁵For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”

Matthew 16:24-25

So Jesus talking to his disciples tells them they must deny themselves, take up their crosses and follow him. I looked up the word deny in the Strong’s concordance.

^G533ἀπαρνέομαι aparneomai (ap-ar-neh'-om-ahee) From G575 and G720; to deny utterly, that is, disown, abstain.

I find it really meaningful that it says to disown. I am not my own, I belong to God and am purchased by Jesus’ death on the cross. I am supposed to give up ownership of my life, and let God take control. But when we lay ourselves on the alter, as a living sacrifice, it is often hard to keep ourselves there. When I get uncomfortable, I tend to want to get off of the altar. But I must remember that I don’t own my life. Paul says it beautifully.

²⁰I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Galatians 2:20

Oh, that I could say that about my life. But, there are so many times that I can’t. So much of the time, I want to be in control. I want to do what I want to do, not lay down my own thoughts and ideas. To do stuff that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. Jesus not only says that we must deny our selves, and pick up our cross… but to not save our lives. That word for save is the word σώζω sōzō. I didn’t know that this word was used here for this. I have seen this word before, but because of it’s meaning. It has to do with healing, protecting or deliverance, and saving. A very interesting word, and normally used in the context of physical healings. It was reading in Wild at Heart that John brings up the word used is not the word bios (as in physical life) but is psuchē (looks like psyche hu?), which has to do with our soul life. I one of the ways that Thayer’s Greek dictionary describes this word, that I think fits perfectly is “the seat of the feelings, desires, affections, and aversions.” It’s about laying down, my plans my ways, the way I would like to see things go. When I can say, not my will and I truly come to realize that it is really not about me.

Within all this I have also been really thinking about a song put out by Jason Upton. The song has a kind of hymn like sound to it, but I love the lyrics.

The King’s Way

There is a road
that leads to peace that leads to life
But few will follow
We’re at the crossroad
Which way will we go

There is not today a more holy way
than the steps that lead me to the cross
where my will can’t be the priority
and these crowns I’ve gained I count as loss
When I hear the spirit say
that this is the true King’s way

Dead and Dying Generation

2005-05-06T14:59:00.000-07:00

God, there is a generation that is dieing and in need YOU. Come and Raise them from the dead! This morning I went out to take a table to Safe Harbor Crisis Nursery. As I was driving back home, I had a prayer CD in playing. It’s called the Prayers for the Elijah Revolution, put out by Lou Engle and Stacey Campbell through Revival NOW Ministries. You can listen to a sample of it from there website here (Realplayer). It goes through different scriptures and leads prayers/song things off of them. This particular song was from this scripture;

17 Some time later the son of the woman who owned the house became ill. He grew worse and worse, and finally stopped breathing. 18 She said to Elijah, "What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?" 19 "Give me your son," Elijah replied. He took him from her arms, carried him to the upper room where he was staying, and laid him on his bed. 20 Then he cried out to the LORD, "O LORD my God, have you brought tragedy also upon this widow I am staying with, by causing her son to die?" 21 Then he stretched himself out on the boy three times and cried to the LORD, "O LORD my God, let this boy's life return to him!" 22 The LORD heard Elijah's cry, and the boy's life returned to him, and he lived.

1 Kings 17:17-22 (New International Version)

There was this young boy, dead. The man of God came and stretched himself out on the boy. He cried out for the boy to come back to life. That is what my generation looks like right now. They are dead, bound up in sin, with pain, loss, and torment. DEAD!!! As I was listening to this I and praying for CBC (my college campus) for the lives of those who are there I just began to weep. God has a HEART for this generation. God wants to open blind eyes, open ears that can’t hear, and capture hearts that seem hard and imperturbable.

I think about last night, I went out with my friends and hung out. I got to minister and pray for some of my friends yesterday, and that was really good. However, I also think about later on that night. A group of five of us went out walking for like two hours, until three thirty in the morning. We ran into this guy, riding his bike across the Blue bridge. I’m sure he was coming from a party or something, somebody who didn’t know Jesus. I even spoke to him for a few minutes about NOTHING! I didn’t share the Gospel with him. I didn’t know how to bring share with him, I don’t even know why. Could have that been his day, for him to have come to know God. To be changed forever. GOD!! There is a Generation that is Dieing. Build up your church to go out and stretch ourselves out across the dead, to cry out to you and raise them from the dead. To not love our lives… but to deny ourselves, pick up our crosses and follow after Christ.

Defy Gravity?

2005-04-29T02:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever totally just wanted to defy gravity? Well you should have been with me tonight, It was definitely an experience. Well realistically, today was an interesting day. I went to school, like most any other Thursday, but I guess it would seem different. First I met up with Carlos from work, and we actually got to hang out some (something that I have never gotten to do with him). I got to hear a really cool band, that played in the hub. They are a kind of Irish Punk band, very cool. Their music made me think that about dancing around in circles and just having a good Ol’ time. Then I went to class as if it were any other school day, except it’s my Friday today and I was ready to leave. After classes got over, I went to the library to meet up with Heather and Erik. We sat and talked, not much homework getting done there, for a couple of hours. Oh, how the time flies. Then it was time to go off and fulfill our plans. For a while me and Heather had talked about straitening our hair, and today was the day to do it. I really wish that I had a digital camera, although I took pictures with my regular Olympus it would be developed for a while. Well, if you could see me now it’s like I’m a new person. My hair is parted down the middle and is straight as can be. A hot comb and a curling iron, mixed with a couple of fun loving college students and you have an interesting and fun afternoon. But that is only the half of it, then we went and showed up to Lighthouse. Today it was outside, and we played soccer, football, and ultimate Frisbee. Then we went out bowling, I don’t think I broke a hundred (pretty sad, hu?). But here is the whole reason that I am writing tonight. We went out past Benton City to this hill. Seriously, the hill is a bit of a hill. I mean its not like a huge slant to it, but it is definitely moving upwards. Well, what you do is put your car in neutral and watch gravity pull you uphill. Impossible, I would say so… but then I was there and saw it with my own to eyes. It was amazing! I have never rolled up hill and it changes all of my theories on string theory and quantum physics. We went up the hill twice, and even got out and walked around for a bit. Very cool, and I think I even know how to get out there now. I think that it is something that you would definitely need to see to believe… Well, I need to go to sleep. It’s almost three in the morning. I have a semi-early morning tomorrow, and I just remembered that I need to do my journal entry for ICS (ahhh) which its way to late to start on that now. I guess I will just have to wake up and do it first thing in the morning.

Just another day at Jubilee

2005-04-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

I guess that today would be just another day at Jubilee. I don’t know if that means any sort of average day. Almost no day out there is the same, nor what most would call average. To preface you I guess I’ll tell you how my day started. I woke up early, around eight something. Normally that is not too early for me, but this morning it must be counted as early. I didn’t go to sleep last night until about four in the morning, only giving a little bit more that four hours of sleep. Well, I woke up but did it slowly. First I went and laid down on the couch, turning the TV on for background noise. A wile later, I got up and ate breakfast (granola, yogurt, frozen blue barriers, homemade jam, and even a little peanut butter). This is actually a really good concoction. After my hearty meal, I moved on to the reason I woke up so early in the first place. I had to do some homework, a journal entry of my Inter Cultural Studies Class that I had forgotten previously to do. After completing my homework, and doing some quick sprucing up of the house I was off to Starbucks. I like to go there to read, or write and spend money rather then doing the same at home with much cheaper coffee. It was there that I go some much needed journaling done. I just have had a lot on my mind and heart, and had to put life to paper and get it out. I also got a triple shot coffee, in preparation of the day ahead. Getting into my car, running about fifteen minutes behind for work I rushed off onto the freeway. My drive is about 50 minutes, but I made it a bit quicker this morning. I love my long commutes sometimes. Normally I just listen to NPR’s Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me, a interesting quiz on the news. Well, this morning I just plugged in a worship CD and didn’t, Jason Upton (my favorite artist right now, check the site he has his music up that can be listened to). My morning at Jubilee started off well, I took a family up to the barn to see the animals (we have lots of different animals). I was a neat connection to, the mom had a lot of connection with The Master’s Commission so we spent a lot of time talking about that. Then I went to the dorm for supervision. Everything in the dorm can change in a moments notice. I got hit were it counts by a shoe thrown by a student. I was ok, after a bit but I instantly had a bunch of anger build up in me. We also went on lockdown. Some kid, smeared poop around a stall in the bathroom. Oh, how one kid can ruin thing for all the rest of them. Later on we had another kid trip on a vacuum and badly bruise his ribs. Tom, one of my coworkers took him to the hospital. I felt like God told me to fast the next day. We had two students run away, one of them came back a few hours latter saying that he was just helping his friend get out because he couldn’t take it anymore. It was definitely an interesting night, but I still had fun.

Check it out

2005-04-22T02:19:00.000-07:00

Below is a interesting link, that I think you might appreciate;

This link put up by fireonthealter.com a very cool website, with a lot of cutting edge stuff on it. I am not exactly sure what I mean by cutting edge, but I know that they have a lot of good stuff. This link is a flash (I think) presentation that Aaron sent me in an email. You should check it out, it's very relevant and only takes a few minutes.

Also I thought that I would attach this to this post I found these really cool illusions. My mom emailed them to me, and I thought that I would share them with all of you.

Now watch as this frog turns into a horse. Very cool hu?

B&W

and in color

Neat Hu, you can find this other stuff at Joe-ks

Konfabulator!

2005-04-19T22:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I end up finding new things all kinds of ways. my newest thing that I have found is the Konfabulator. This is a free downloadable program. It runs Widgets on your desktop. What is a Widget you might ask, well in this case it is a specialized desktop application meant to make frequently used functions easer. So this has completely restructured my desktop. Here is a screenshot of my new and improved desktop.

I am currently using eight widgets. Starting from the top left I have a search function, this has all the major engines. Below that is a weather widget. I guess that I have this incase I have too much homework, and can’t go outside and see what it is like for myself. Below that is a to do list, although I guess I forgot to put down “take over the world.” Just below that, just for kicks is as a small thing that links with the Department of Home Land Security to tell the current threat level. I guess that I need more fear in my life. I guess that this is a good time to be able to describe how some of these work. The Konfabulator has them all running, and has them periodically (depending on the task) run some sort of application. For example, the DHLS threat level, will at a regulated amount of time check at the DHLS site and see if it changes. The same with the weather widget, It seems to refresh itself every few minutes.

To the right of that column is the Yahoo! Word of the Day, with a window viewer just below that. The window viewer is cool, this just rotates through my pictures and pulls up random ones. I think I get a new picture every five minutes. What a great picture was up at the time I took this screenshot, Dan… Nice. The next column over has a clock. I made this opaque and so that floats above every other window. That means that I can see it no mater what program I am using, but I can see through it. Finally below that is just a simple calendar.

I think that the Konfabulator is a sweet program. I am slightly worried that having everything running could bog down my computer, but I haven’t seen anything different from normal yet. If you go and see the Widget Gallery, you can pick 523 different applications. A lot of them are things that I wasn’t interested in at all, but they are a lot of cool products out there.

More Trip to Canada Stuff

2005-04-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

I just got an email from one of the people who I went to Canada with. I thought it was really good, to be able to see his perspective and let all my readers know more of what we did. This is from Colin Wood...

What is a mission trip, you may be asking? Good question. I have to be careful how I phrase this because when one says the word mission, images of young men in suits going door to door (i.e. Mormons) often comes to mind.

Our mission trip was different than that. I joined with a group of students from a local community college. The group, called Baptist Student Ministries, is part of a network of Baptist college ministries affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention. One of the highlights of being involved in BSM is their missions emphasis, and spring break is often an excellent time to plan a mission trip.

Really, I am hesitant to use the term mission trip, because although I believe in missions, as codified by our Lord in the Great Commission of Matthew 28:18-20, the idea of going somewhere else can sometimes distract us from the fact that "missions exists where worship doesn't" (John Piper). And that is anywhere in the world where people do not follow Jesus.

Whatever you call it, we did go to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada for a week. And we were all stretched and challenged while we were there. It was especially interesting coming back to the area - not as a student at Trinity Western University, but as a college graduate.

Our primary purpose was to publicize an Easter worship service at a church on Simon Fraser University. The campus is like most public universities in North America - full of people who are living for themselves, grappling with using and abusing their new status as young adults. Add to this the fact that Vancouver is a highly multicultural and pluralistic community, and you get quite a mix - a veritable cacaphony of spiritual voices trying to sell their wares to the unitiated.

The Point Church was planted several years ago as a way to establish a Christian beachhead at SFU. There are other Christian groups meeting on campus, but The Point is the first church located right on the campus.

So, we were challenged with the following tasks:

Handing out hundreds of postcards advertising the church
Surveying the campus population to find out what they believe about Easter and church
Giving out free Atkins candy bars
Just talking with people

And I was stretched. I do NOT like going up to strangers and giving them advertising material. This was a diifcult task, and I can't say it would be any easier next time. However, I enjoyed several conversations that I was able to carry on with people. Above all, I was reminded that all we were supposed to do is plant the seeds - only the Holy Spirit can turn a longing heart God-ward.

I was also reminded of the importance of relationships - two friends talking about spiritual things, one friend inviting another to a church service, one friend praying for another, or one friend simply walking through the "valley of the shadow of death" with another.

And you don't have to go somewhere else to be a friend.

Our second ministry was to the down-and-outers of Vancouver. In case you are not familiar with Vancouver, there is one particular area just east of downtown that is a notorious drug and prostitution haven - called the Downtown Eastside. We worked with a ministry called LifeLine, giving out free food and clothes, and talking with people who are going through hard times. Let me tell you, you could go there every night and just scratch the surface of need.

I was reminded of how Christians sometimes feel particularly needed in these areas - because the needs and sins of humanity are open sores, displayed for all passers-by to see. Our ministry to these communities is good and right. Yet is it not also the case that our own communities are full of need - maybe not open sores, but nagging itches or benign tumours? Lord, give us the spiritual eyes to see the needs around us. Bob Pierce, the founder of World Vision and I believe also Samaritan's Purse, said, "Let my heart be broken with the things that break the heart of God." Can that be said of us?

And you don't have to go somewhere else to see needs.

Our third ministry was prayerwalking in downtown Vancouver. Prayerwalking is both easy and difficult - easy because it's really just praying and walking - difficult because it's intentional. You pray for specific people you see passing by, for various institutions, for the attitudes that may prevail in the area, and so on. It also means asking God to show you where He is working, and then joining Him in those things. My group prayerwalked around the downtown campus of University of British Columbia. We talked to a security guard there, to a sidewalk artist (who called himself a shaman), and a guy who perhaps was homeless. And again, I was reminded by how prayerwalking can be done anywhere, not just somewhere else.

We also had the opportunity to visit two other places of worship - a Buddhist temple and a Sikh cultural centre. The Buddhist place reminded me that I serve a personal, relational God - not just a God who's somewhere else. The Sikh place reminded me that Christianity is not just a throwback to a different era, or a gathering place for people who share a similar ethnic heritage - it is about redemption and discipleship. But we certainly learned a valuable lesson in hospitality - would you believe, the Sikhs would have been offended if we had not taken their gifts of food!

Another aspect of this experience that I appreciated was that I was able to get to know some other folks my age. I went with a group of about 25 people, some of whom I already knew, but many whom I got to know for the first time. I was able to encourage others while at the same time be encouraged by others. One of the best parts about being young is that we love to talk about solving the problems of the world, and one of the worst parts about being young is that one can too easily become disenchanted by the problems of the world. That's why I am strengthened by the imminent return of Jesus Christ: there is hope that is found in something beyond our own efforts and ideals. It should motivate to keep striving, not give up in discouragement.

So, what did I learn from this mission trip?

I learned that missions is both challenging and rewarding.

I was reminded that Christians and all people are meant for community, vertically with God and horizontally with other people.

I learned that the main characteristics of a missionary are faithfulness, availability, and teachability.

And I am learning that I must seek the Lord with all my heart (Jeremiah 29:13) because I will find Him working around me, whether at church, at home, at work, or at play.

Somewhat Delirious

2005-03-26T00:29:00.000-08:00

I have a problem with sleep, I normally do not get enough. I have not slept for the last over the last 48 hours. It all started last night. After passing out a few candy bars at SFU with invitation’s to the points Easter service, we went to go and play broomball. Broomball is a crazy game. We went to a ice rink at UVIC, to play. I was prepared to play, wearing only my Master’s Commission sweatshirt, to keep out the cold. Soon after starting to play, I would no longer need this cold air barrier. Broomball consists of two large teams of fun loving young people, running on ice (in normal shoes); tripping, falling, checking, throwing your stick flaylalaly into the air, and so much more. You are basically trying to score the most points; hitting, kicking, blocking, and any other physical possible way of getting these two small orange balls into hock style nets.

I will start from the beginning of staying up late last night. A lot of us started playing Mow. Now if you have never played Mow, then you should try. I can only tell you that you play something like Uno and you cannot tell anybody the rules. You have to figure them out for yourselves. So, we ended up playing for a number of hours… I think until about three am. Well, some of use had the hair brain idea of staying up all night. I will let you in on some of our adventures.

If you can imagine four people staring at a white board, trying to figure out a how to draw a really weird shape, it’s some kind of math problem. Well, the thing that is funny about it is the time… about 4am. It about this time that we figure that it is time to go on an Adventure. So left, to look for food. Even though we had food in the kitchen, it is much more fun to go and look for it somewhere else. Well, there is not a lot that is open at 5am in the morning in our part of Vancouver BC. So we stood outside of a gas station laughing and telling stories. If you have had very many experiences staying up late, you might have realized that everything is a lot funnier when it’s late. At 6 am, McDonalds opened and we went there. Our conversation went from one end of the spectrum to the other. To show just how far it went, we even talked about Ketchup packet ethics. If you take a Ketchup packet, and don’t use it… do you put it back. If not when does it become wasteful to throw it away. Is it at 10, 100, 1,000… etc. Then what is that makes it wasteful. I guess that I’ve taken to many philosophy classes. Then I took my McDonalds Coffee to Starbucks, where others of us got some espressos. We went back to the Church, only to realize that was no fun. So we made way to a nearby park. It is fun to play on the little toys. I did an underdog for one of my friends, and haven’t done that in a long time. I also tried to jump off of the swing, but ended just rolling on the ground and being not quite as smooth as I would like. Well, that morning was the only difficult time that I had staying awake. We had a debriefing kind of thing and kept wanting to nod off. Then we prayed for what seemed like forever… so difficult to stay awake.

Today was our off day. We went and visited a Buddhist Temple and a Seek Temple.

At the Seek Temple, I was amazed at their hospitality. It was at a quality that I have not seen in Churches. They sent somebody around with us to explain everything that people were doing, and provided a meal for us. During the meal, our tour guide didn’t stop serving us and attending to our needs. Really a call to our Churches to rise up. It was also a sad day, because some of our group left. Both the groups from EWU and UW left. That included Joanna from UW, who was one of us who stayed up all night. So sad… We went to Gastown, to do some shopping. I ate shrimp for dinner. Well, and it seems that I always have trouble getting to bed at a reasonable time.

2005-03-21T01:42:00.000-08:00

Today, today. So many thoughts and emotion have gone through my head today. I’m not sure if I can pen them all down. First I will just tell you some of what I was up today. Well, me and about seven other people started out our morning by going running at about 7:10 in the morning. I realized how hilly Vancouver is. We went for our shower time at SFU. We went to a bible study, looking in-depth at the Temple as a type and shadow of Heaven (Hebrews 8:5). We looked at prayer and related it to the different parts of the temple. It was really good. I think that the greatest thing that I got out of it was just the fact that prayer should be much more then just asking God for things. We don’t pray to God to fill our needs, but we pray to God to be with him and he will fill every need. He also talked about not always me focused prayers, but praising God for who He is. Then our group got split up into two teams. One stayed at the campus and pasted posters up, and talked to students. I went to Lifeline ministries (The ministry to the homeless) to get things prepared for that night. Cooking, cleaning, packing, and reorganizing stuff. I got a chance to talk with one guy, Dave. Dave had lived a crazy life before coming to God. I am not sure how to really describe Dave; he has a very weathered looking face from the years of his crazy lifestyle. He spent some major time in jail, and had been a major dealer. He also had been a truck driver, and seen a lot of North America. He was telling me how different Vancouver is from other major cities. Because of the laws of the land, which sounded a lot like lawlessness to me, the street people do pretty much what ever. Yes there is a lot of violence, but their drug use is blatant. He said that he would not be surprised in the least bit if in our ministry time we came upon people shooting up or smoking crack just on the sidewalk. Other cities have the same sort of problems, but they just are not as obvious about it. So the time came, and we went out. It was a very difficult thing for me to be out there on the street with these people. You know that there is bondages and brokenness and need of healing for these people. I got to talk so some people, but I don’t know how effective it was. I walked around and passed out candy to a lot of the homeless men as they waited in line for their food or cloths (or both). As the crowd dissipated, I guess a smaller then normal crowd because of it being welfare day (were they get new money), we moved on to a different area. I guess that area that we moved to is a much worse one, and I could see it. There were just tons of street people, coming out of the woodworks to get the free soup and rummage through the clothes. Each of them with a distinct story, and hardened faces came by. I tried to talk to some of them, but I had a real struggle getting the conversation anywhere regarding salvation. I have never been affronted by that much poverty. I have seen and talked to a lot of people in hard places, but this just seemed amplified and extreme to anything that I have ever seen. It is getting to be about 1:30 AND I have an early morning tomorrow.

2005-03-20T23:00:00.000-08:00

Well, we are all safely in Canada. Today was a jam-packed day, and I am getting tired. First, I will explain some immediate circumstances. The church that we are staying at has a MAC computer, which makes me not know how to deal with it. Then I, using Adams computer failed to be able to access the internet. Well that’s ok, it just feels good to be able to write. Mission trips seem to always be filled of stuff. I’m thankful that we haven’t had to many events taking place later in the evening. Adam and I woke up early, well 7:40, to go and worship before everything started for the day. That has to be the best way to start off a morning, it was great. Just a guitar and our two voices. I love to worship it totally makes my day. Then we went to the kitchen for breakfast. I had an orange and a bagel. I’m not really a cereal fan, so this will probably be my daily ablution in regards for breakfast. We had a team get together, a time for prayer and sharing what God has put on our hearts. It’s so good to be able to hear what is going on in the lives of people. In my heart, I kept thinking about the scripture for Timothy 2.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
Amplified Bible

It’s really out of my comfort zone to share with people about Jesus, but I know that God is able in all of my insufficiencies. After our time of sharing, we attended Sunday Service at the church we are staying at Westlynn Baptist Church. The service was great, the pastor really opened up the scripture about Jesus feeding the 5,000. In the book of Matthew, it talks about the circumstances around this event. Jesus had just heard about John the Baptist dying, and was trying to seek solitude. That is when he saw the crowds and had compassion on them. It was in his time, that he wanted to have “me time” or time to just get away he still moved in his heart to have compassion and help the people. What an example. Then we quickly packed our lunches and necessities, and were off. We needed to go and be able to take showers, because we do not have facilities where we are staying. We are using the facilities at one of the local colleges, SFU. Then we had a short bible study that we attended, and then we went to the service at The Point. The Point is a church that meets on the campus of SFU, and is made up mostly of University students. I shared my testimony for everybody, I was frightened at first but then I just started talking. It was a bit different then other times I have shared, I felt like God said not to take my written stuff up front with me. After that service, we hung around for a while after that, just getting to know different people then we came back, getting back to the church by 8:30 or 9:00pm. Yep, a long day! I hung out and talked with people for a while, made lunch for the next activity full day, and spent some time worshiping. During this I was trying to get one of guys to sing with me, but he said he almost never sings. In my life, that has been one of the most powerful forms of worship. I don’t know what I think about the possibility of not singing ever for worship. I would have to think a lot about it, and look more closely at the bible. I don’t know, it might even be common that people don’t sing for worship. I hope that I spurred him on, but not to strong. I think I will just keep encouraging him, and pray for him. I sat down with Daniel and we tried to figure out our the computer issues. I am planning on getting up early tomorrow to go running, so I think I am going to cut my night short. We have an exciting day planned to go and work with Lifeline ministries.

The In-between Space

2005-03-19T03:30:00.000-08:00

This is exciting, I’m borrowing Adam’s computer. Were in the in-between space between America and Canada right now. There’s wireless connection that’s here, but I am unable to connect to it. This will probably be getting posted later. Today has been our traveling day. My day started at 5:15am in the morning. My alarm went off, and I was not ready after only five hours of sleep. I had trouble falling asleep the night before thinking about the upcoming trip. I decided that Starbucks was a must, and a good place to find a quick breakfast (caramel macchiato, and an original coffee cake). Then it was to pack up the two vans and head out on the road. We have a couple of the Motorola two way radios and had some interesting talks back and forth. I been on a lot of different trips, but I have rarely driven very far in a caravan of vans. We stopped at Wendy’s, for some food. If you have not noticed yet, or not gone to Wendy’s the price of Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers have gone up in price. Where they used to be 99cents, now they are $1.29. Now I guess that it’s not that much extra, but it’s about heart of the matter. I used to religiously eaten at Wendy’s, but I am not sure if that will have to change. I don’t agree with the price raising, they used to have a good thing going for them. Well, my batter’s going dead and we’ve made it past the border.

Ahhh Grasshopper

2005-03-17T00:39:00.000-08:00

If you are anything like me, you must go through a lot of different phases. Well I do, all the time. I think that I am attracted to glittery objects, and I just follow whatever glittery objects in front of me at a particular time. Lately my glitter object has been learning HTML. Writing code takes time to get down. I got the basics down, but now trying to make everything do what I want takes time. I get something done, and then I want to tweak it just a little bit, but then it takes me forever to figure out what the right next step. A website that I have found indispensable for referencing HTML tags and CSS code is w3schools. They have an awesome site.

When I think about learning to write in HTML it reminds me of MC’s. During my time with the Master’s Commission we work had the amazing opportunity to work for Eventforce, which works some Microsoft Conferences. What we did varied a lot from conference to conference and person to person. We did stuff like preparing rooms for different sessions, acting as human arrows, bag-builds, greeting, information booth… etc. Because of the MC’s great work over the years, Microsoft has open up the door for more and new jobs. They gave us data recording (AV-stuff) and helping out in the speakers resources room. Doing these conferences were some great experiences. This had to do with the people I was working with (MGB in 2004 had 300 MC’s working at one point), being a part of the actual conferences, and the places that the conferences were held (Atlanta Georgia, New Orleans Louisiana, LA / Anaheim / San Diego California). Why I mention this, is I am reminded about some of the attendees of these conferences. They would come in with shirts with catch phrases such as “Lets Code” or “I love to Code.” I always thought that was a nerdy thing to say, but I now find myself learning how to code. Am I that dorky…? I don’t think so but maybe I am heading that direction.

My most current endeavor in coding is trying to create my own CSS style sheet. This blog is on a prefabricated template, and has very little of my own code in it. I have changed a few small things, such as the anchor attributes (what my links look like). I creating my own in FrontPage and hope someday switch out for the template that I am currently using. Here is a list of some of the things that I am currently trying to incorporate into my site:

Google search form (my site is not in their index)
New Banner
Scrolling menu that is really cool (this is a long time off, and I am getting some help from my friend on working with the FLASH)

I have been staying busy, coming home and spending my spare time just playing. We will have to see what is the next glitter object that comes up.

Grokking Food

2005-03-14T15:29:00.000-08:00

In my Sociology class, I recently had to do what Dr. Helford calls a Zen Experiment. The basics of the experiment is to study my dinner for five minutes before eating. When I eat, not to use any type of utensils, and to be experiencing the process. Then I had to go to the bathroom and study the toilet for ten minutes. Finally, after that ten minutes, I dump some of my food in the toilet... look at it... then flush. I had to also turn in a report for this. This Zen Experiment was called Grokking Food. "Do you grok me," is the wordless question that our food is asking silently asking by just existing. If you anything like me, at first you might not know what grok means. It originally came from Robert Heinlein’s book Strangers in a Strange Land. The author used the word grok to literally mean “to drink” in the Martian language. Within the book, a character describes it this way:

Grok means to understand so thoroughly that the observer becomes a part of the observed—to merge, blend, intermarry, lose identity in group experience. It means almost everything that we mean by religion, philosophy, and science—and it means as little to us (because we are from Earth) as color means to a blind man.

Grokking is the act of trying to understand and identify with something or someone. During the course of the Grokking Food Zen experiment, I did not come to any major revelations, only some interesting thoughts.

When I received the Grokking Food assignment, I showed it to some of my friends and we had a good laugh about how weird it was. Prior to cooking the food that would be used for the experiment, I put a good amount of thought into what I would use. I did not want to eat something that would be too gross to eat with my fingers. Top Roman seemed to be a good choice, and something that I eat quite often. To the basic Creamy Chicken Top Roman I added butter, an egg, and cut-up hunks of meat. I have known for a while that Top Roman is unhealthy, but I have never taken much time to stare or think a lot about it. Looking at the bowl of food, made me start to loose my appetite. I even started thinking about the digestive process. I noticed that the noodles looked suspiciously like the small intestines. Coating the edges of the bowl and the outskirts of the noodles was a greasy yellow liquid, which sloshed around slightly when I picked up the bowl for a closer inspection. On the meat and noodles were small black specks, most likely seasoning. I took a little bit of time and focused past the noodles, looking at them as if they were some sort of hidden picture. All I saw was a blurred and formless blob. My mind kept returning to thoughts of preservatives and chemicals known to be within my dinner. After the five minutes of observation time, I squished the bowl in-between my hands, and tipped it back. The noodles were incorporative, and stuck to the walls of the bowl. For a second, I had freighting of my dipping my bear hands into the bowl, and shoving handfuls of the sludge into my mouth. The very idea of that was horrendous; I wanted no part in it. I maneuvered my face into the small confines of the bowl. The thought of removing my mouth with stings of Roman dangling from my beard popped into my head. I tipped the bowl back again, and tried to suck another mouthful of food in. Interestingly it was more of a chore to be accomplished to eat the food, then a satisfying meal. Normally I enjoy eating, and try to savor the food, but with this I just wanted to get it over with. I also found myself eating at a much faster pace then normal.

The next segment of the experiment was to go the bathroom and study the toilet. Looking at the toilet, I started thinking about how long ago it’s last cleaning was. It took everything within me to not go and quickly grab some cleaning supplies and clean the toilet as a part of my observations. Thinking on this note, got me to realize how neglected the toilet is. The toilet is just a product for utility. The toilet is only thought of when needed, and then quickly left by the wayside. After the ten minutes was on my timer, I dumped the bowl of excess food into the toilet. Inside the toilet bowl, the food just floated and half sunk. Food like this is an utterly disgusting sight. After looking at the food, and the swirling cloud floating in the water, I pushed the handle down and flushed the toilet.

Grokking my food, is in a sense the closest that I have had come to my food. Eating is something that takes a lot of preparation and time everyday, but is rarely thought about. Really, the utility of just eating food, even if we enjoy it, is similar to the utility of using the toilet. It is something that I under normal circumstances do not want to think about. My mom has told me about the importance of being mindful in daily life, but rarely do I actually implement it. It is difficult to really concentrate on what is going on, and not just be on autopilot or thinking about a million other topics. Mindfulness is experience life as it happens, in the moment. It also seems there are two different “digestion processes” that we use frequently. First, is the process eating and deposing of food physically. Second, is the ingestion of our waste into the toilet and it’s digestion into various pipes and other avenues under our cities until it is it find its way our of our system. So the question must be, do you ever grok your food?

Behold I send you out as sheep amongst wolves, now be shrewd as snakes and gentle as doves.

2005-03-07T22:01:00.000-08:00

I am so excited about the Spring Break Mission’s Trip. Only two more weeks and we’ll be going. I wanted to write down some of the plans. We will be going from Saturday March 19th till the next Saturday the 26th. We will be going to Vancouver British Columbia Canada (I’ve got my passport ready). We will be teaming up with groups from Eastern Washington University, Seattle WA, and Louisiana. I am not sure exactly what we will be all doing but I am expectant for God to move. I know that we will be passing out like a 1,000 candy bars, and inviting people to “The Point.” The Point is a college church, in BC. I also heard about us helping to get the word out for people to attend a showing of The Passion of Christ. We will be visiting Lifeline Ministries, an outreach to the homeless. I know that a lot of what we will be doing is just spending time on the college campuses in the area. Getting to talk with students and share Christ. I heard about playing broom hockey, and having a day off to see the sites. When we come back that next Saturday I will pull into town, get in my car and drive to my other ministry. That is my work, and work the rest of the weekend. Then School starts again, you know that life moves so fast. Well, back to Homework…

Did somebody say spring break?

2005-03-04T02:33:00.000-08:00

Well, it is coming to that time of the year again. I’m getting ready to go to Cancun and party it up… wait… does that sound like me. Na, now I remember what I’m going to do. I’m really excited, I get to go to Vancouver B.C. in Canada. The who trip is going to be a lot of fun, and I think I will definitely have some opportunities to touch some lives. I will post more on what we will be doing. I am also hoping to be able to post during the trip (at least once) and use somebody’s digital camera to post a bunch of pics. I haven’t ever done anything like that. We will have to see what kind of time constraints that I have, and if that will be possible. But please, if you think about me, please pray for me and the group going on the Spring Break Mission Trip.

New Frontier

2005-02-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

Well, I did it. I started my second blog. I now have a blog about me "aprendizaje español." It will problibly be slow going, and I plan to have it edited. I do not know who will all be editing my posts, I have a few ideas. I am hoping that this helps me to learn Spanish faster. Please comment go ahead and tell me when I do stuff wrong. The web address is really easy. Its just like this one, except it is in Spanish. Here's the link.

Dios te bendinga

Escribir en Español

2005-02-21T23:25:00.000-08:00

Yo quiero escribir en mi blog en español. Yo soy estudiante de primer año de español. Yo lo siento por mi mal español. Yo aprender español. Yo no con frecuenta escribo en español. Yo escribo más que hablo. Empezar a aprender español es muy difícil. Yo escucho español en la iglesia. Voy a Abra Cielos en Pasco Washington. Me gusta mi iglesia. Yo hablo español con mis estudiantes en el rancho de Jóvenes Jubilosos. Por favor, sugiera comentarios. Estoy un poco casado. Yo duermo ahora mismo.

I guess that I'm a "Centerist"

2005-02-21T16:15:00.000-08:00

I took this poll at a site that I found. According to self-gov.org this is how I guess I am politically;

CENTRISTS espouse a "middle ground" regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they sometimes favor government intervention and sometimes support individual freedom of choice. Centrists pride themselves on keeping an open mind, tend to oppose "political extremes," and emphasize what they describe as "practical" solutions to problems.

The RED DOT on the Chart shows where I guess I fit on to the political map.

Well... Hope you like it

2005-02-19T03:27:00.000-08:00

I've done this just for you. I found it on the web at some diffrent peoples sites, and I thought that you might like it. I've added Haloscan Comments. I think they are way better. I will post something about how to trackback soon to, but I think I need to go to sleep. I have to go to work tommorow, but atleast it's not in the morning. It took me well over an hour tonight to get everything working for the comments. I'm actually worried that they won't work now. The whole problem is I started out trying to do it myself, and then I tryed to have Haloscan install it'self. Didn't work out so well. Well then i moved on, and started over, and I changed some formating stuff (hopefully I will not lose my formating if I change stuff again) and I had to reload Haloscan. It has been a bit of a pain getting it set up, and I am worried about the future. I guess that is a risk I am willing to take. Also, please comment on if you like the new comment feature.

2005-02-19T03:19:00.000-08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Just write it down

2005-02-18T02:10:00.000-08:00

It seems to me that I have so many idea’s and stuff running though my head sometimes, that I just have to write it down. If I don’t write my ideas down, then they are lost driven into oblivion. My predicament may sound similar to Leonard’s in Memento. So here are some of the things I’ve been thinking about. I stayed after school late today, to be a part of a scrapbooking club meeting. I’m not much of a scrapbooker, but I have one that my mom started for me. The pics need to be updated, because I don’t have anything more current then three years ago. I also want to create one for my dad, a kind of memorial. I have a bunch of his stuff, and I want to put it all together. This has led me to think about getting my own website too. I don’t know what all I would put on there, but here are a few things; a memory to my dad filled with his pics and letters, my blog, what ever else comes along that I could want to do. This is a ways down the road, but I have been thinking about it quite a few different times lately. I want to get a quality one… that will probably cost some bucks. It’s relitivly cheap, only about $20-30 per month, and $10 per year for the domain name. But this is money that I cannot faithfully give every month. In thinking about this, I went into school and scanned some of his drawings. I really like this one. I will only post one today, but sometime you can probably expect to see more of his Drawings.

I have also been working a lot on Spanish, and learning Spanish. I also started thinking that I would like to maybe have a blog that I sometimes write in Spanish to, or on this one. I feel much more confident about writing Spanish, then I do to speaking it. But I guess that it will all come with time. I have also been thinking about up keeping things that I want to do with my blog. Blogger seems to have been messed up lately. I tried changing my comment format, to Haloscan’s comments. This would also allow for trackbacks. I’m also trying to make my previous posts be in a drop down box. I am having a lot of trouble with that. I can create the form, but then I don’t know how to manipulate it to be how I want it. I am trying to give it a fixed width, but I can’t figure out how to do that. Maybe it’s just something simple, but I still can’t get it. And most recently, like as of now… I am thinking about sleeping

Fool Hearty...well maybe a bit crazy

2005-02-14T15:56:00.000-08:00

You may say that I’m “loco in la cavaza,” but I think not. You may be thinking that it is Monday morning at 2 AM, what is Jacob doing up still and posting on his blog. Well the answer to that is being stupid. I’m doing homework, well actually at this moment taking a break. I did not work on my homework last on Thursday or Friday, and I am now suffering the wrath of the consequences for my actions. I also have been lacking sleep for the last few days so I am really tired. I figured that I might as well post, because I’ve decided that I will not go to sleep tonight. That means in the morning… well in a few hours I’m going to go run, and get ready for the day as if I had gotten multiple hours of sleep. I am trying to keep up this façade to my body that I’m energized. Sooner or later the caffeine will run out of my body also, and I will feel like dieing. Ah well, I think I will be ok. How did I get into this predicament? Well, first off, not working on Friday or Thursday but more then that I got of work, and went to church. That was about an hour and a half of time, but not wasted. Going to church was able to fill me up some and prepare me for what was coming. I came home; checked email all that took was 10-15 minutes. Then I realized how much homework that I actually had. Time to make a quick stop by Starbucks® , to pick up a Java Chip Frappuccino®. This is the best drink know to coffee dinking coenuruses, well at least in my opinion. This is not the only drink that I get when I go to get coffee. I am one of those obsessive, must try all kinds of new things when I go places kind of people. Well, so I started on my homework before 9 PM. I have beaked from my Spanish only a few short times, until now at 2 AM. That is five hours of Spanish Goodness. I should not have this much homework, even if it is a weekend. I also cannot blame this on the concept of receiving the homework in a long-term sense. This just did not happen; it was all given as weekend homework. Well, that leaves two choices, either I am partially stupid or my teacher gave us an insane amount of homework. I would vote that it is a little bit of both. I thought this a good point to stop for a little while. I still have at least 30 or more minutes of Spanish (the later it gets, the longer it will take). Then I haven’t even started my Philosophy or Sociology. Wow, what is this world coming to, I must just be crazy. I figured my best bet is to bet that I can pull an all-nighter. I think I’ll be ok, It will just take lots of water and coffee. When I get to go do my run, and see new sunlight I think that I will feel better then. This will also allow me to get that extra stuff that I needed to accomplish done. I always wanted 48 hours in a day, and now I guess I get it. I just don’t think I planned it like this. Well to all you sleepless friends, hope you sleep well, I will tomorrow. For a final thought, the ultimate procrastination is that of pulling an all-nighter, because you are putting off something that in inevitable and difficult to put off for very long.

Browser comment

2005-02-11T13:59:00.000-08:00

I have found that the majority of my readers use Internet Explorer (IE) as a browser. I was checking out my blog with IE and I found that some of my site does not work as well for IE. I have been using Mozilla Firefox for almost a year now. I find it a much better browser then IE. It has the option for tabbed browsing, something I use constantly. I also prefer there buttons and tools that they have accessible. For those of you who are more computer literate, Firefox is open source code so you can change what the browser looks like. There are tons of add on's. Cool things like copy and past plain text only... toolbars...etc. It is a much better browser. My blog also looks better by viewing through Foxfire. I will be attempting to correct my sites issues with IE, but I do not know how long it will take. I'm am just learning how to write in HTML. Just click the pic.

PACDG

2005-02-08T23:47:00.000-08:00

For the first few weeks of Philosophy class it seemed that their was a group of us that would always gravitate to talking after class was over. The conversation usually went from Philosophy to many other subjects. Well, I've just talked that this is our philosophy after class discussion group (PACDG for short... although I just made that up now). I really enjoy our time, and sometimes it last a while, well over an hour. Well today was no exception. We started off talking about Freedom vs. Determinism, and moved into the debate between John Calvin and the view of those who follow more closely to Jacob Arminius. I found out that I am closer to Arminius. I did a little searching online to find resources about both of these ideas. I have not had a chance to study each of them very completely, but they seem very good. For John Calvin's and for Jacob Arminius. Other then having some interesting debate, and discussion, something else really cool happened. We were talking about souls, and a bunch of classes had let out. Well, a guy A, just stopped and started to listen to us. I introduced myself, and we invited him into the conversation. He said that he was interested in our conversation because he to believed in souls. I thought this was interesting and pursued what he meant by that. We A described a kind of Buddhist understanding of Reincarnation. So we talked a little bit more, and even went into a little about Nirvana (not the band). This being a way for humans to gain a kind of perfection. We got to talk about human depravity, and the fact that we can never reach a place like this, and the fact that when we die we are judged for our actions on earth, not turned into some other person or animal. Dan also had a track to give to A. All in all, I believe that we got to sow some awesome seeds in A's life. I just think that it is so cool that even having a conversation with some friends can lead to a conversation with some non-believers.

What Friday's are for!

2005-02-05T11:02:00.000-08:00

Am I a nerd. I did not go out at all last night. I went out and hung out with friends on Thursday. But that was Light House. Then we went out and planted fake flowers in a yard (maybe I write about that another day) our BSM fundraiser. Last night, I took to clean house and do homework. I figured that I don't have time over the weekend, so I should do some now. I know, it's a little weird to just stay home all Friday, but I guess I can handle that.

Values, Faith, and the Division of the Political Ideologies

2005-01-26T23:39:00.000-08:00

My mom sent me a link to an article put on NPR’s Fresh Air program. It is an interview with Rev. Jim Wallis. Rev. Wallis is the author of God's Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It. He is also the editor of Sojourner magazine, a progressive magazine. This (progressive) is the term that is used by Terry Gross (the interviewer) and one that is recently new to me. It is a different terminology to refer to liberal, or left of center. I tend to fall very right of center (politically) where my mom is on the opposite spectrum (left of center). We do both disagree about many issues regarding politics, faith, and I’m sure other things; but there are also quite a few issues we are both strongly on the same side about. Our relationship is such that, we get by just fine with these major disagreements, and have led to some interesting conversations. Rev. Wallis, talked in this broadcast about some of the less talked about “faith issues.” It seems that the media is having a hay day about faith and politics. Values and faith have been an important part of the political process though out history. There is some rhetoric that is often left out, when these issues are brought up. Let’s try an experiment, “I say values in politics…” you say “abortion and gay marriage.” Are these the topics that come to mind first? Whether that is how it should be could be debatable (meaning what should be the priority of the social understanding of our faith), but the fact that the other issues don’t come up is a sad day for understanding values. Both of these issues need to be talked about, and more importantly done about, but this is the rhetoric from the right. The left is the one that talks about social justice issues, poverty, and the environment. The right is considered the religious sect, but these ideologies are stricken from there view of need it seems. These are important issues, that regard faith and values (I am only mentioning a few, there are more left out qualities).

Faith, values, and morals require us to look at all of the issues, and bring social change where it is needed. Remember, the church is to be a counterculture, changing the unjust social institutions. Our lives as Christians are meant to be rounded, where all of the moral issues are meant to be understood. The interview itself is really good, and I emphatically agree with the need of these subjects to be talked about and more importantly done about. While I agree with Rev. Willis that far, I do not necicarly agree with all of the avenues that he would seem to promote as a solution to these issues. This difference in ideas is good though, it causes us to be more rounded people (just like between me and my mom). One last note, that I am always reminded of, when I start to discuss “high and lofty” ideals, and that is what am I doing with the hands God gave me. Are they comforting, praying for others? Before I worry about those out there, what have I personally done for those I am around now? I think that these ideals are important, and we can spend our lives working for them, but I just don’t like to talk about them if I’m not doing anything about it. For example, I heartily agree with UK Prime Minister Tony Blair (World Economic Forum) about the need to work on issues of global warming and poverty in Africa, I am also forced to look at those around me who are hurting and whys that I can pour out my life not just my money.

Putting the control-ALT-delete in plasma

2005-01-22T02:01:00.000-08:00

I’ve stopped giving plasma for the time being. I think that I am really going to miss it too. Yes, part of me will miss the money. Even though it’s meager wages, it has in the past supplied my blow fund (money that I could spend on whatever I want, with no second thoughts). But I think more then the money, I enjoyed the experience of giving plasma. Not so much the getting stuck by a needle, and aimlessly pumping my hand for an hour. This may seem odd, but I kind of looked forward to going… not all of the time, but it’s kind of fun. I just like opportunities to just talk with people. If somebody is stuck with a needle, they aren’t just going to get up and leave in the middle of your conversation (no matter how one sided that it might appear to be). I did really enjoy it though, and I plan to go back, but it will be in about a month. The last two donations that I have given, because of testing afterwards, had to be destroyed. I had an elevated ALT level in my plasma. This has to do with an enzyme that is secreted out of the liver. It normally happens because of either dehydration (which I drink quite a bit of water, well more than the amount of coffee I consume) or Tylenol kinds of drugs (which I could probably count the amount of times I’ve done that on my fingers). So I’m at a loss, for the reason that this is happing. I plan to visit a Dr., and get a blood test here in the next few weeks. Ouch, Drs are expensive… but my mom said she would help, and we have some insurance. I figured that I should check this out, because it isn’t normal that I should have it, I think… Well, I’ll visit the doctor, and sometime return to the Plasma Center.

Dios te bendiga

2005-01-19T23:16:00.000-08:00

Well I’ve already learned a few important lessens this quarter. First I found out that college can really have two hours of homework per class hour. Here I had always thought that to be a myth, and that late nights where just for finals week. Second I figured out that college can really be hard, and you can’t always slide though like I did last quarter. Well, I didn’t slide through grade wise, I actually did really well. I got two 4.0, and one 3.9. Last quarter, I did not know the meaning of consistent hours of homework. For my sociology class and my Philosophy class, the work load isn’t that hard. They do require nightly homework, about an hour of reading each, and a short page on the reading to prove that the reading was actually done. It is my Spanish lass that is really difficult (difícil). Learning a new language is not natural, but takes a lot of practice. I feel behind already, because many of the people in the class took Spanish in high school, when I did not. Although it is difficult, I am glad that I’m taking the course. For years now, I have wanted to learn a foreign language, well really three. I think us Americans who are monolingual really are missing out on a lot. I wonder if it is different to be able to think about a subject in two different languages. Does it change your perspective; I would think that it does. I want to eventually learn to speak Spanish and German Fluently, and to be able to read Latin. This is long term, and right now all I can think about is this introduction into Spanish. Spanish normally has a few hours of homework worksheets a night, and I could take an indefinite amount of time to study the ever growing list of vocabulary. I’m confident that I will be able to excel in this class, but it will just take lots of hard work. I am also very lucky, because I have a lot of Hispanic connections. At work, about one third of the boys are Hispanic and at least semi fluent. My church is also bilingual (meaning the service is in both Spanish and English) which is really cool. So whenever I go to church I get to hear Spanish, plus the majority of the congregation is Hispanic (kind of weird to not be the majority, but I’m cool with that). So the cell group (I’ll talk about my church someday) that I meet with is mostly Hispanic. So I know that I can get a hold of a guy René or a girl Norma, and they would be able to help me. Sometimes I bring my homework with me to the cell. I think that this class will help me to be “muy trabajador” (very hard-working), if I hope to pass this class.

Nacirema

2005-01-06T15:02:00.000-08:00

I have had some interesting Sociology classes since it’s start at the beginning of the week. On the first or the second day of class, I got out of my comfort zone. Dr. Helford, said that he wanted to get do a quick experiment, and get people out of their comfort zone. He asked for six volunteers, three guys and three girls. He paired them off; two girls, a guy and a girl, and two guys. Then he had us look our partner in the eyes for 90 seconds (I was one of the lucky guys to be involved in the experiment with another guy). It was definitely a strange experience. Even though he shortened the time to just under a minute, it seemed like forever. I guess that there were definite differences between the posture and actions of the three pairs.

I also got to read an interesting article for his class. It was in a text book that I had to buy, I spent some $300 on books this quarter, but I did a Google search and found it here. Read the article, and email me what you think. I will tell you that it will take careful reading to understand what the author is showing us about the Nacirema culture, but I think that it is well worth the read. And email me, and tell me what you think, but due to the content I am not going to post specifics about the article.

The Daily Grind, -skateboarding, and -coffee brewing

2005-01-06T14:48:00.000-08:00

I’m back to doing the school thing again, Winter Break is over and it’s back to the grind again. I am really enjoying all of my classes so far though. I’m taking Spanish 101, Sociology 101, and Philosophy 101. I’ve wanted to learn Spanish for a while now, but I think that it’s going to take a lot of work to get it down… who knows, someday you might be reading one of my posts in Spanish. My SOC class, is interesting. I like the teachers style, although it is different. Some examples are, his “Zen experiments” From what I have heard about from other students they will be interesting enough that I will have to make a post later about them, but for now I don’t want to give it away. He requires group teaching, about different subjects, and has added a lab to the class. For the lab, he said that it’s a science class and needs a lab. I think the lab will be cool, working in the community on some sociological research project. Dr. Hellford (SOC teacher), came from working at Princeton to somehow end up teaching at the community college level here in Pasco. He said that He was tired of giving the “privileged more privilege.” That’s pretty cool. He seems like a really good teacher and look forward to his class, even it some of our political views clash. My Philosophy class is also really good. My teacher is very animated, and fun to listen to. His analogies are a out of this atmosphere, but that makes it interesting. The other cool thing about PHI, is my class mates. About seven of my friends and me are all taking the course at the same time (somewhat planned). This could be trouble, but I think it will make the class dynamic… interesting. Also in the class is somebody that I used to hang out with some back in my not so sober days. Her name is Ashley, but it’s cool because we have both left that whole lifestyle behind for the past few years. It was cool to be able to catch up a bit… but it also reminded me of my other old friends. I want to reach them, and need to get a hold of them.

Skeleton Crew

2004-12-30T01:23:00.000-08:00

Wow, it’s been a while since I posted last. But I would say that I’ve been really busy (who hasn’t been though). I had some interesting experiences this last weekend at work. I want to describe some brief glimpses into some of my job (working with at risk teens in a live in facility).

The holiday season, is some of the most difficult times for these boys. There are a select few, who are able to go home for the holidays, but it is a very select few (about 4 out of 35). Only the students who have been in the program over a year, and are at least a level three, are able to go on home visits. That means there is a dorm full of boy’s missing home. Christmas day was an interesting day. I worked the night before, and whenever I work atleast two days in a row, I stay on campus. My cummute to work is about 50 minutes, and gas is way to expensive (Leesun, I wish I had enough guts to hitch hike to work). When I stay on campus, I just take over a room at the unused dorm. I was awoken Christmas morning, with only a few hours of sleep early. They staff brought the students over to the unoccupied (other then my sleeping self) dorm to open up presents. I had stayed up till the early part of the morning playing Halo 2 with one of my coworkers. Yes, I got killed… but he owns the game and I don’t. Luckily I was able to fall right back to sleep and get more then just a few hours… When I woke up a few hours later, I went for a quick run, and then off to the cafeteria. I was greeted by an awesome sight. There where a lot of cars in the parkinglot, and even more family members inside the cafeteria. It makes the boy’s day, when their parents come up, and it is expecially needed for the holidays. But upon walking into the cafeteria, my plans where instintaly ruined. I had been hoping to cook nice breakfast, quietly eat, have a cup of coffee, and mentally prepare for being at the dorm. Well, the instant I walk into the cafeteria, as always I had several students running up me, there need being the most important possible need in the universe. I had to sneak away from the bombardment, and go into the kitchen and make breakfast. I figured that I could start my day a little sooner then my time card would say…

Christmas was not all fun and games
Christmas is meant to be a time of giving, fun, love…etc, not a night that the dorm goes on lockdown. Lockdown is when all the boys are required to go to their rooms, not leave without permission, be quiet, and a punishment (or way of getting stolen items). There were a lot of reasons that the boy’s ended up going on lockdown, I list them off.

We linked up 3 X-Box’s, and set up mass group games of Halo 2. This is something that is not normally done, so it was a very anticipated event for the boys. Two of them started arguing, messing with each other and a controller cord ended up getting unplugged and whapping the ther student (broke the controller). This moved into a shoving match. Some students tried to break it up and it turned into a shoving punching thing between them.

We allowed lots of snack food to be in the dorm, cookies, Christmas treats, chips and dip… etc. This also is not common, no food is allowed in the dorm. Somebody messed up another student’s room. This is actually not very uncommon, but this case was very bad. Many times they “flip” other’s mattress (sometimes even when they are occupied), drop the closet rod throwing cloths around the room…etc, but this time they dumped after shave all over the bed and pillow. The perpetrated student freaked out, and started throwing food around the dorm. He also started chasing and though food at another particular other student (unrelated in the bed incident). This same student was caught with some walki talkie’s, that was contraband but he fought getting them taken away.
The dorm, started to look like a tornado had gone through it.
To much yelling and arguing, by the students
There was some stuff stolen, but this was returned very quickly.

As you can see, it turned out to be an eventful night. But this is not uncommon. Part of what adds to this, is the amount of staff that we had on at the time. We only had 2 people working. Talk about a skeleton crew. What would be perfect, is a one to one ratio… but I don’t think that will happen. To properly function we really need at least four staff on the clock, but that is like a minimum. The think about the dorm, is every night there is another new story. The next night ended up being eventful in its own rights. But befor the night could come, I was on in the morning (I worked from 7:30 – 23:00, pulling a duble… nice for the pay check). That morning, was also plagued by the lack of staff (still only two people on). We had to managing chores, prepare for church, meals (and supervising “meal restriction”), and wishing to be able to have an activity other then the “baby sitter,” also know as a movie. So the night came, and we added another staff member. After dinner we put on the first Superman, but that didn’t keep everybody enthused enough. We had three students run away, which means searching…etc. As far as I know they haven’t been caught yet.

All in all, it was an interesting Christmas. I did get to have breakfast with my mom, on Christmas Eve. That is when we did the present thing… it was nice to be able to spend a little time with her.

The Calling

2004-12-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

“Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?”

Leesun left a comment on my last post asking me what I thought about our duties as Christians in regards to the world need. That got me to thinking, and I figured that I would write a post about a snippet of it. This is a very difficult question to answer, and I had to sit and think about it some. I am not really sure what place world affairs should have in my life, and the worrying about people in other nations. I say now, that I am no authority, but if you would like to join me in a slight journey to look at this issue as it can relate to our lives.

Balance
Our lives are supposed to be balanced. This means a million different things, and is really different for each of our lives. Here is some of the roles that I have, that I have to balance. I’m a Christian, a student, a son, a church member, a volunteer at Safe Harbor Crisis Nursery, a Residential Councilor at Jubilee Youth Ranch, a friend, a member of a college club, and much more. These are just the really concrete roles that I participate in, but only a small portion of what makes up my life. Balance has to come to all of these. With so many things tugging for my attention, some have a greater priority. For me it’s relationships. It’s my relationship with God, my mom and family, my friends, the young men I work with. But that does not mean that the other parts of my life are less important. Are lives can be a balancing act, where we are metaphorically try to many different plates all spinning, without one of them falling.

Need
My mom sent me an email a while ago that had a link to this web site that described the world’s population simply. I deleted the email (doah) I tried to find it by just doing some searching, and I wasn’t able. All I have is a piece of paper with this information hand written on it. I think it’s fairly accurate, sorry for no citation.

The Worlds Population, if it was 100 people
61 Asians (see comment about this figure)
12 Europeans
13 African
14 North and South America
1 Australian
______________________________________
67 of them are not Christians, meaning that 33 percent are.
6 of the people would be older then 59 years old
13 are hungry
14 can’t read

Wow, that much of the world is in needs. I have also been amazingly lucky, in that I have had the opportunity to travel quite a bit. I was able to go to Africa (Kenya, Rwanda, Congo, and Tanzania) back in 2001. I have also been able to go to Mexico a number of times, and traveled around America a lot. So I have been able to see, talk to, and give to a lot of people first hand. This has never seemed to be enough, but I consider myself lucky to have been able to have the experiences that I have. This has allowed me to see the need first hand, and have those images and memories. It has also made me to appreciate what I have a lot more.

Need Fillers
There is a scripture in Ezekiel usually brought up when talking about Intercession (praying for others).

“29Extortion is rife, robbery is epidemic, the poor and needy are abused, outsiders are kicked around at will, with no access to justice.'
30"I looked for someone to stand up for me against all this, to repair the defenses of the city, to take a stand for me and stand in the gap to protect this land so I wouldn't have to destroy it. I couldn't find anyone. Not one. 31So I'll empty out my wrath on them, burn them to a crisp with my hot anger, serve them with the consequences of all they've done. Decree of GOD, the Master."

Ezekiel 22:29-30 The Message

God said he was looking fro somebody who stand up against the injustice, bring restoration, rebuild, and stand in the “gap.” There is a lot of need in the world, and we as Christians are supposed to come and fill those gaps, and help people.

Everyday LifeThese idea’s of grandeur, and global help must be planted firmly actions of our every day life to make any effect. We as Christians are called to help the hurting and broken, but for me that does not require all of us to help with the world wide need. I think we are called to show compassion on those that we come across in our lives. Think about the story of the good Samaritan. He was not called the good Samaritan because he went out and was looking around the world to help others, no it was because he had compassion on the person that he passed by on the road. He had actions showing compassion and love, and that is what made him the good Samaritan. I am not saying that people aren’t called around the world, to help need there, just that is not everybody’s calling. Every person has a calling on their lives, and stuff that they are shaped to do. In my life I know I love to work with at-risk youth, what I do at my job. But I also think that I am called to my neighbor. Not the metaphoric understanding of neighbor, but this guy who lives next door.

He has owns house next to us, and used to rent it out. His last renters really messed up the house. I don’t know everything that is going in his life, but he is a really sad old man. He has also gotten into drinking entirely too much wine every day. I have gone over there and given him rides place (I told him I would rather drive him, then he be drunk and drive), just sat and talked with him, helped him with some work around the house (he did pay me for that). I believe that I am supposed to have compassion on him and help him out how I can. I think this is what a lot of our callings are, to help those that we come across in our lives. Yes, some are called to have some sort of service to help those greatly in need in the community and around the world. But I think the majority of our callings take us into the market place, the government, the education sector… not just what is normally called “ministry.” I think what is important is that we keep our hearts open, and listen to Gods call. For what we do with our lives, what we do with our money, time, where we go, the people we help. And that we keep our eye’s open to the need of those around us.

Intelligent Design

2004-12-14T18:08:00.000-08:00

The Story
Today on NPR they had a story about intelligent design, the theory opposite of Darwin’s evolution theory. The story can be heard here . I am bias towards the idea of intelligent design and would consider myself a Christian Creationist. The fact of my beliefs, should not sway the reader to say that I cannot write on the subject. I would also say that my beliefs are very well founded and have scientific evidence on it’s side.

Basic Argument for Intelligent Design
Darwin’s theory is the idea of natural selection and macro and micro evolution. But it has some presuppositions that are fallacious. 1.) something (the universe, earth, humans) coming from nothing; 2.) out of the chaos of that something, it being turned into an ordered something (chaos turning into order). Both of these presuppositions do not make logical sense. First, it is impossible to start with nothing and then from nowhere have something. Second, order can turn into chaos (you can look at my room, almost every night) but for chaos to turn into order by means of random chance is a statistical impossibility. This is a very basic understanding of the differences, and only one avenue of looking at it. There are many other factors that also show the theory of intelligent design as being most probable. This post is not trying to prove or disprove either theory. It is looking at these lawsuits that are going though our court systems.

Basic’s of the Article
A school district in Pennsylvania (Dover) is being sued, for a decision made that forces teachers to teach both theories of evolution and intelligent design. One of the audio clips (used in story) is a man who describes this requirement for teachers as a kind of “Trojan Horse” of religion, trying to force it’s way back into schools. He also briefly mentioned the study of world religions, in history classes, as being acceptable.

The Problem
Although, the idea of intelligent design points to a more advanced being that created us, it has nothing to do with religion. Evolution is a theory. The Oxford Dictionary describes a theory as “1 a supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something, especially one based on general principles independent of the ting to be explained. 2 an idea accounting for or justifying something.” Basically it’s something that isn’t proven yet. Well that is true for both evolution and intelligent design. They are both looking at the same data, and each of them interprets that date slightly differently. Schools should promote learning and understanding. The majority of our lives are not made up of black and white issues, but most of them can be seen from different points of view. When we can look at the different sides of an issue, and then make an educated decision based on all of the information, then we are truly educated. When schools attempt to only teach one side of an idea, they are doing a disservice to those being taught.

Some Resources
The Discovery Institute has many articles on the idea of intelligent design.

Alpha Omega institute has links to a lot of different web sites and a good listing of books on the subject of creation. I got to hear a seminar put on by them at my college.

Small Steps

2004-12-14T13:05:00.000-08:00

I am starting to make small steps. I have been feeling lately that I really need to get more discipline back in my life. I used to be really disciplined, when I was involved in the Master’s Commission (MC’s). Part of the curriculum there, was to help get diligence and discipline into your life. This covered a lot of different aspects of life. From reading the word, we had a daily bible reading plan and even memorized scripture (7-13 verses a week). Disciplined in time, because we came to find out how little time there is in a day, when it is filled up with activities, homework, school, and other stuff. We also had “time logs” that we had to fill out, to be able to really look at how we use our time. One of the things I’m trying to really get back into right no is exercise. In the MC’s there was a required five days of exercise. These had to be for a half hour, and significantly raise your heart beat.

When I got into the MC’s, I really got into exercising and really enjoyed it. My favorite thing to do was going to the YMCA swim laps. I looked forward to it, even though it was usually meant being there by about 6am. I would even go, and do if for more then my required half hour. I also during my time at MCs ran and lifted weights, but my love was swimming. I lost a considerable amount of weight just doing this. I have, since the move to Richland, occasionally gone running but nothing with any sort of diligence. Other then just missing the exercise, I have also been gaining weight. As I go to give plasma weekly, I get weighed every time. I my weight has steadily been rising. I’ve gained more then just the few normal holiday pounds, and can even see it now in the mirror.

Well, it’s time for a change. As I am posting this on my blog, I have decided that I am going to get back into exercising, and my blog is my witness. I have, during the last three days gone out and ran. I will keep up a regiment, exercising 3-5 time a week every week. This will probably have to consist of running for right now, the cost of a health club are too high for this college student. I want to also get into hiking more regularly, so that I can go on some trips next summer. So in future posts, you will be hearing from a fitter Jacob.

“Rebels without a cause, to leaders with a purpose”

2004-12-09T21:04:00.000-08:00

This is the concept behind what Jubilee wants to do with the young men that come through there program. Jubilee is the Boy’s ranch that I work at right now. Well they are actually more then just a youth ranch, they are a school, a home, vocational training, a catalyst for change in the lives of young men. I’m a “Residential Counselor,” basically I hang out in the dorm with the guys. All of the students at the ranch live in dorm facilities. They come from many different situations and for different reasons. Most of them are sent there by their parents, some are actually sent there by the courts instead of going to an institution, and finally some come on their own accord. I am in the dorm to supervise them, so sometimes I feel like an over-grown babysitter. Every job has pieces that you don’t like, and that is mine. The part of my job that I love, and the reason that I go out there, is to be with the boys. Although, they are sometimes “hard” and not really receptive, there are times when I can see they get it. There are times that you can see them making better choices, and especially the times that I get to sit down and share my heart one-on-one with them. That is why I do this week after week.

Right now, I only get to work part-time. I go to school full time, and college can take up a lot of my focus. But I do go out for the majority of Saturday and Sunday every week. I am lucky that I can say honestly that I love my job. I do hate it sometimes, and it can be really hard, but I love to be there and to know that I am affecting their lives. I know that I’m affecting their lives because when I was a student there some of the staff really affected my life, and is a major part of the reason of where I am at now. So even when I do not see fruit, I still pray that I would be planting seed in good soil, and trust God to come and reap a harvest at some point. I graduated from Jubilee over two years ago, from their I went to the Master’s Commission, in Spokane and just came back to Tri-Cities to go to College.

My job, can be my favorite place to be, and sometimes I wish I could be somewhere else. It can be really a hard place to work, but I know that its good. It just tends to be dry, and draining (spiritually) on me, but this just forces me to get filled back up by God. I pour out my life many times to these boys, and have to trust God to use what I’ve done and give me wisdom on how to deal with the boys.

My Question to the readers
I was thinking about topics to use on this blog, and I was thinking about the boy’s at the ranch. Would a short focuses on some of the boy’s be interesting, so you can know some of who I work with, and for?

A Night of Fun my new friend, the Rug Doctor.

2004-12-06T18:31:00.000-08:00

This weekend I went to Seattle, to help with a fundraiser for my work. Sometime I will do a post, to let all my readers (mostly imaginary), about my job... It's really interesting. So, I had just been in the car for four or five hours, and I was finally home. I was planning to to home, drop stuff off, and go to church only a little late. When I walked into my house, I immediately knew something was wrong, and had the feeling that I would not be able to go to church that night. There was a loud hissing sound, almost like that of a teapot that was screeching into a quite home to deafen the silence. As this was registering, the phone also started to ring to add it's clamor to the chaos. I started to walk towards the screeching sound and my phone. A few feet into my house, and I was slashing into the pool that used to be my living room floor. I had visions of the wet bandits of "home alone" attacking my house. I started to move faster, leaving the idea of answering my phone behind me. In my kitchen, I saw the culprit. The hose that connects the washer to the outside water line, was partially severed and was screaming as it pushed highly pressurized water out of a hole that was to small. I walked though the linoleum swamp, and turned the knob off for the water. I then went to pick up a phone that had sense been hung up by an impatient caller.

What do you do, in a situation like this...? I was dumbfounded and had to force myself to work. I first walked around and scoped out the damage, and picked up everything that could be damaged near the giant pool of water. I then, like anybody would got on the internet..., isn't that what you would do? I needed to log on, so I could get my mom's boyfriend's cell phone number, and all my contact information is online. I tried to call him, but was only able to leave a message. I logged my mom's MSN Instant messenger account on, to see if he was online... he wasn't. When my mom goes to her boyfriends house, she many times becomes unreachable. I shot out an email anyways. I was stumped... I got the situation sealed up, meaning that I the area was cleared out of all burner, the rug's put outside to hopefully dry, and all ruin able items removed, but I wasn't sure the next step.

To understand more of my predicament, this is Sunday late night 8 or 9 pm. and I had school the next morning. At school the end of the quarter is coming up this Friday... and my little trip to Seattle did not get me a lot of homework done. I had a research paper, that needed a lot of work done the next morning for my ENG. 101 class. I also needed to turn in my portfolio to early the next morning. Within my portfolio I had 12 10 minute journal entries to write. These were just some of the more major homework piece that I need to accomplish. Well I figured I should write a journal entry to help calm my mind down. I ended up going to Fred Meyers and renting a "rug-doctor," to suck the water out of the carpet. When I got home, my mom can back to the house and we started the long clean up process. The floor is still a little wet, but It should dry out in the next week or two... at least we hope. I leave you with a last thought, don't wait until your water line breaks to clean under the washing machine, it gets really gross under there.

Plasma-less

2004-11-30T18:01:00.000-08:00

Do you want to earn some extra money? Do you want to help people? Well… I'm not here to sell you anything. I just wanted to let you in on one of my habitual activities. I go and give plasma twice a week, every single week. I've been doing this for the last three or four months. I go to BioMat, the plasma collection agency in Kennewick WA. If you’re looking for them there located 101 N. Union St. I really enjoy donating there. I know all the employees, and have a lot of fun with them. Its fun, one of them, Rachael always "sticks" me. Rachael will race and even fight to be able to stick me.

I'll tell you the process, so that you know what donating plasma is all about. First of all, plasma is used to help people such as burn victims. Plasma is a part of your blood, and made mostly of water. Donating plasma is also not “type specific.” Meaning it is universal, and can be used for anyone. So you are doing a good deed by donating.

I show up every Wednesday and Friday. The first stop is the front desk to sign in and pick up an “Aids Bulletin.” The sign says to read every time you donate, and keep it in your hand until you’re screened. I don’t read it every time (out of boredom I’ve read it several times and can tell you what’s all on it though). I go and sit down, hopefully there is a chair, but sometimes they’re really busy and there are no open seats. There’s always a movie playing, but this is hit or miss. They have limited movies and some are played constantly. Also sometimes they play movies that are just… not so good. For example, “Young Frankenstein” a Mel Brooks movie from 1974 is one that I would not care to ever see again. I usually wait about 45 minutes to an hour to be screened.

My name gets called, and I go through a quick interview process. They ask me if I’ve participated in any of the activities talked about in the Aids Bullitin, and ask me a bunch of other questions. They poked with something that’s related to a push pin to get a small amount of blood to test. I get weigh me and told to sit back down. I wait, for only a short time, and get called to the back room. It’s here that Rachael comes with my folder and asks me what arm I want to be stuck in. I alternate arms, so hopefully the scaring won’t be bad. When I first started donating I would put Neosporin stuff on my wounds every day to help the tiny holes heal better, but I’ve grown out of that.

Rachael sits me down, and rubs Iodine over the intended puncture spot. There are previous posts, pictures I found on Google, of people being stuck with a needle. I tried to add pictures inside this post, but I couldn’t figure it out. Rachael then sticks the needle into my arm, almost at the elbow joint. This is not as bad as could be thought. I’ve had times when it’s hurt, but not usually, and not really painful. What’s really freaky is to specifically watch and anticipate the puncture. It’s weird… but not bad. This needle is then connected to tubes which connect it to the Plasma Machine. This machine sucks the blood out of my body, takes it to an internal compartment which spins at 7,000 (?) rpms extracting the plasma. The plasma is dripped into a bottle that is being weighed, waiting for it to be filled according to my donation amount. When a certain amount of blood has been taken into this machine, it then cycles the blood back into my body. This cycle of drawing and returning blood is just repeated, about 5-7 times.

One time Jody, a worker there, “Hemoed” me. She was fixing my line, and moved the needle, obstructing its flow back into my vein. The machine later started trying to return the blood, and a large bulge started forming. I cried out “JODY!!” It hurt, and didn’t look right. She came and turned off my machine. I had to be re-stuck in the other arm, and I got a bruise where the blood had tried to blow up my skin like a miniature balloon. I guess that Rachael, who wasn’t there at the time, had talked about fighting Jody for Hemoing me.

It takes me an hour to give all of my required plasma, but some people do it in less than half that time. That means the whole process is about two hours for me. I get compensated for my time, not the plasma. I was told once that they can’t pay me for my plasma, because in essence it would be considered prostitution. It’s illegal to sell any part of your body for money. The amount that I get paid goes back and forth between $15 and $20 plus there are bonuses for different things and special promotions always going on.

Giving plasma is really an enjoyable process, this is counterintuitive because the culmination of it is having a needle break through your skin and it stealing your blood only to return it without the important plasma. I think the reason I like it so much is because of the staff who works there, and the relationships I’ve built. It’s like a little community. The extra money also helps, although it’s not much. That extra money becomes my weekly “blow fund.” Maybe someday I’ll see you at the Plasma Center, but until then I’ll still be going.

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

2004-11-11T05:38:00.000-08:00

I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast. The decision has been made. I have stepped over the line. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, or back away.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotion, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, live by prayers, and labor with power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won’t give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, spoken up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go ‘till He comes, give ‘till I drop, preach ‘till all know, and work ‘till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me my banner is clear: I am part of the fellowship of the Unashamed

~Dr. Bob Moorehead

Research Paper

2004-11-05T11:43:00.000-08:00

I had to write an essay for my English 101 Class. This is one of the drafts. I wanted to publish it on the web because my teacher figured I should change some parts of it. It is supposed to be more of a research paper, and I put to many non scholarly parts to it (i.e. the Quote from Lauryn Hill, and the paragraph about The Matrix). I really liked the way it was, and I wanted to also have it out on the web so others could read it.

To keep me in this box, Psychological locks
Repressin' true expression, Cementin' this repression,
Promotin' mass deception So that no one can be healed
I don't respect your system, I won't protect your system,
When you talk I don't listen
Oh, let my Father's will be done

~ Lauryn Hill

"You've been living in a dream world, Neo." This is a famous line off of the Movie, The Matrix. The scene is Morpheus, the captain of the spaceship Nebuchadnezzar and a type of prophet whose job was to find the Chosen One, was showing the matrix to Neo, a man who had recently been unplugged from the Matrix. The Matrix is the vehicle used to enslave the human race, to basically be batteries for artificially intelligent computers. Morpheus is aptly describing how Neo had been living a lie, unable to see the world as it really was. There is a similar matrix that people have been living in, even here in America. The rise in this countries divorce rates, bringing about broken homes, is a destructive force that if left unresolved, will bring about destruction. The average Joe does not really have an understanding of what is going on in our society; they are living in this false world with the matrix pulled over their eyes.

Marriage is not a license or official document issued by a church or government. Marriage is the union of two people; sexually, emotionally, and spiritually. The marriage license is only an outward and public declaration of what is going on in the lives of the couple. This means that to have intercourse with someone, is to become married to them with or without the formal declaration. Too many of this nations formal declarations are being torn apart because this understanding of marriage is not even on the radar screen. The youth of America, for the most part, do not enter into relationships with eyes for the long term. The single youth of this day need to approach sexual relationships with care, and have a view of marriage that is conducive to a long term relationship. This means that the criteria for relationships must be more then physical attraction and hormones; it must consist of the couple having similar characteristics, goals, values, dreams, and directions they see their lives heading, attached to an absolute resolve to work the issues that are going to come up, out. When this is done the divorce rates in America will decrease dramatically.

Divorce Statistics is the first issue in the problem of broken homes that we must discuss. Divorce rates are on the decline from 1990 to 2001 (Americans for Divorce Reform), but they are still at startlingly high numbers. The United States Censuses bureau is a highly accepted statistic gatherer, who looks at a broad selection of issues. One of the issues that they report on is marriage and its counterpart divorce. This is what was said in the 1992 Current Population Report, "...if one assumes a continuation of recent divorce trends, about 4 out of 10 first marriages to the youngest cohort may eventually end in divorce. Alternatively, if one assumes a return to the pattern of divorce during the 1975 to 1980 period, 5 out of 10 first marriages may eventually end in divorce." (Census Bureau) To put this in more understandable terms, this means that forty to fifty percent of first time young married couples will end in divorce. I would call odds like that flip of a coin statistics. To bring these impersonal statistics into the light of a subject we can all understand, I will equate it to Abbots 12:40 English 101 class. If all of the 23 students in Abbots class were to get married, about 10 - 12 of those marriages will statistically end in divorce.

Divorce is a prevalent issue, but there is a secondary issue related to it that must be addressed. Broken homes lead to a greater likely hood of children being involved in delinquent behaviors. I will describe families that are made up of both biological parents as a nuclear-family. Those families that are non-nuclear will use the terminology broken home. One of the prevailing reasons that the break up of the nuclear family is so detrimental to our society is because of its effect on the children involved. In the Feb 2002 issue of Criminology, Cesar J. Rebellon submitted a very in-depth study relating to broken homes and delinquency. Within this study he cites some 60 previous studies and sources. He brings a well rounded view of this relationship. He sites a 1991 publication of Wells and Rankin with some very interesting figures. They state that about 10 - 15% of individuals from these broken homes are more likely to be involved in delinquent behaviors, then those who come from homes that I have described as nuclear (par. 23). This statistical evidence takes another blow at divorce and society as we know it. To again put this in perspective, using Abbott's Class, two of the twelve broken homes, would have kids that are involved in delinquent behaviors merely because of broken homes. It must also be noted that there would statistically be other children involved in delinquent behavior for various other issues.

We are starting to see that broken homes are a common issue in our society, but there is a third issue that we can look at the same issue for a slightly different light. Involvement in delinquent behavior is not the only avenue that socially unacceptable behaviors come out due to broken homes. I recently attended a talk given by Vincent J. Felitti, MD. Vincent is a Medical Doctor at Kaiser Medical Center, and a part of a group involved in their ACE study. The purpose of this study was to look at the links between Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) to different medical conditions. They looked at multiple different categories like having a family member in prison, domestic violence, drug users, non-nuclear families, and others. For each of the categories that were involved in the individuals upbringing, gave another point on the ACE score (Pg 3). They then took that data and related those ACE scores to percentages of those people that had different medical conditions. The findings of this study produced charts that by a consistent measure went up the higher the ACE score. Some of the topics that they looked at were: Ace Score vs. Intravenous Drug use (pg 5), ACE Score vs. Attempted Suicide (pg. 6), ACE Score vs. Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (pg 4), and many other topics. Each of these graphs and figures show that the higher the ACE score, consistently the percentage is extremely higher sometimes several hundred percent higher then those with an ACE score of 0. Broken homes along with other Adverse Childhood Experiences are bringing about detrimental results in our society.

The tendency towards divorce must be broken, if we hope to keep our society from falling apart. Single young people, before they enter into a relationship, need to count the cost. If these singles were to enter their sexual relationships with an understanding that sex is marriage, and a paradigm that looks to the future with that individual not only the hormones involved, then there would be fewer divorces. When the youth of America can come back and have an understanding of marriage by covenant, and not by paper they will also bring back with the old norm of marital longevity.

Word count - 1,247
Last Revision - 11-04-04

Works Sited

Americans for Divorce Reform, Divorce Rates. 2 Nov. 2004 http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html

Census Bureau. Current Population Reports, P23-180, 1992. pg. 5, 2 Nov. 2004.

Felitti, Vincent J. "Belastungen in der Kindheit und Gesundheit im Erwachsenenalter: Die Verwandlung Von Gold in Blei." Trans. "The Relationship of Adverse Childhood Experiences to Adult Health: Turning gold into Lead." Z psychsom Med Psychother 2002; 48 (4):359-369.

Hill, Lauryn. "I Get Out." MTV Unplugged 2.0. Sony, 2002.

Matrix, The. Directed by Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski. Warner Studies, 1999.

Rebellon, Cesar J. "Reconsidering The Broken Homes/Delinquency Relationship and Exploring Its Mechanism(s)." Article. Criminology Vol. 40 Issue 1, Feb 2002. 103 pages. 25 Oct. 2004

The Beginning

2004-11-04T23:23:00.000-08:00

Today is a Beginning point. This is the first time I have taken any of my writing and published it. I'll be it is only on a blog, and not taken through any sort of process or examination, but the fact that it is out there spoken for an indefinite amount of time to an unnumbered amount of people. There is a Freedom in this, but yet there is something held back. I write, but I find that this new found freedom is so very limited.

It is limited to my imagination!

This limitation can really be almost unlimited, as free or confined as I make it. The possibilities are endless, and yet I strike out with untested wings. Is it true? If I write it, will they read it, or is it to be forever locked away in some cold room, maintained by some IT guy. This Freedom must be somewhat like a young birds. Before this bird ever feels a warm air draft draw them up to the heights, or the exhilaration of letting go of everything and plummeting to the earth, they are born to a very limited world. They are born to the world of their nest. Within their nest they are mouth fed the truths of their existence. They know only their nest, only those few things within their small world. They have no idea what it is to glide through a cloud, or to see countless sunsets from untold heights. Each of these young birds has their day though. They have a time in their life, where they must let go of everything that they know and trust in the wind. They must fling themselves over the walls of the nest and spread out their wings and trust that in what they can't see will hold them up. They have countless time tried to stretch their wings out in the nest, but there was never enough room. They had been confined and smothered by the inability to spread their wings, and operate as they were created to. That day must have been a culmination of both great fear, and of the thrill of anticipation. Ohh, to through every thing aside and trust. What a thrill. There is a kind of freedom that is to be had.